optical assault

When someone meat gazes the shit out of you.

I was the victim of an optical assault at the gym when that fag in the Ambercrombie shirt and bandanna was staring at my package hard in the locker room.

by Hebilicious August 4, 2008

optical course

book any piece of literature over 100 pages.

The Catcher in the Rye is an excellent optical course.

by Devin Dix December 9, 2008

optical chafing

The act of vigorously rubbing another's eye to achieve an orgasm.

Mary wore an eyepatch to school because of the intense optical chafing her boyfriend gave to her last night.

by Aaron Peck July 23, 2006

Optical Asslusion

When ones gluteus maximus appears to be rotund but when a closer look is taken, it is actually taking the affect of an ass but no ass is found until further investigation is taken and the ass begins much lower.

The "Optical Asslusion" Looks good from far, far from good.

by WAAAAAAAAAAAALT April 21, 2008

Optical Sex

A way to have sex.
Unlike vaginal or anal where you penetrate the vagina or anus respectively, or oral where she sucks you, or tit where you fuck her tits like its ass or poke her nipples; Optical sex it where you pentrate her eye.

You push your hardened dick into her eye and proceed to do her. Her eye must be wide open the whole time. The act is finished when her eye is covered in cum.

John: What type of sex did you give her Jim?
Jim: Optical Sex, the one where I fuck her eye!

by Vladmir Makarov April 17, 2019

optical delusion

Misreading a word, phrase, sentence or headline, often to humorous or shocking effect.

The headline read 'Intel back on track', but for a split second, I thought it said 'Intel back on crack'.

by beandog February 9, 2005

opticalrectalitis

A medical syndrome whereas one has his head up his ass and has a shitty outlook on life.

Your symptoms indicate that you suffer from opticalrectalitis.

by aFfLiCtEd December 19, 2004