A prostitute; in particular one who will vocally and physically simulate orgasmic pleasure for her clients.
Jade, the coutesan, is renowned for being a high class mattress actress for those who can afford her services.
by fiery69 May 10, 2006
Sufficiently drunk to be able to speak in tongues, roll eyes, disable the beer GPS, have taxi drivers take one to the police, break ankles, shag your manager (or someone elses)and ultimately become mpp. Only excuse is "I have to go somewhere, and do something" Anyway...
"He would not have luged the stairs if he was not as pissed as a mattress"
"I (he, she or it) was as pissed as a mattress last night"
"Must be MPP, pissed as a mattress when I left him"
"Pyromaniac? No, just pissed as a mattress"
"No, I didn't do that, must have been pissed as a mattress"
"Don't hit me again, Officer"
"I (he, she or it) was as pissed as a mattress last night"
"Must be MPP, pissed as a mattress when I left him"
"Pyromaniac? No, just pissed as a mattress"
"No, I didn't do that, must have been pissed as a mattress"
"Don't hit me again, Officer"
by Taipei toecutter May 31, 2006
Verb.
1) Euphamism for "getting jiggy with it"
2) Well, when a man loves a woman, or a man loves a man, or a woman loves a woman, or a group of people love eachother, they get together, in private, public, or sometimes on camera, often on a mattress, and participate in sexual activity, often moving the mattress in the process.
3) What Kristin is calling it these days
1) Euphamism for "getting jiggy with it"
2) Well, when a man loves a woman, or a man loves a man, or a woman loves a woman, or a group of people love eachother, they get together, in private, public, or sometimes on camera, often on a mattress, and participate in sexual activity, often moving the mattress in the process.
3) What Kristin is calling it these days
Person 1: Wow! I hear Krisitin and her bf were really moving the mattress last night!
Person 2: Yeah, i hear they burst a pipe
Person 2: Yeah, i hear they burst a pipe
by Mingo_Fiercest December 16, 2009
The act of drinking alcohol specifically to be able to sleep in an uncomfortable place. Typically used outdoors, when sleeping in the front seat of a car, or when sleeping on the floor of your friends dorm.
Kieth: Hey Bud, wanna come camping at the rock quary this weekend?
Me: Sure, do I need to bring anything special?
Kieth: Bring an air mattress, the ground is rocky.
Me: I'll be fine, I plan on bringing my Beer Mattress!
Me: Sure, do I need to bring anything special?
Kieth: Bring an air mattress, the ground is rocky.
Me: I'll be fine, I plan on bringing my Beer Mattress!
by dee-rock May 16, 2010
I was running late for release, so I had to wrap the mattress from stack overflow and released on time.
by brooklynking1995 May 4, 2021
When you fart in bed, typically on your back, and your fart echoes throughout your mattress. This does not work with memory foam mattresses; only "hollow" spring-based mattresses can resound the fart. (Abbreviated from mattress reverberation).
To compound the dutch oven effect of farting in bed, I farted with my ass to the mattress, making sure I got plenty of mattress reverb. The resounding effect made the fart so loud that it woke up my girlfriend.
by ILL203 November 4, 2010
The "congregation" that people belong to who are too tired, lazy, or burned out on organized religion to attend a real church: they sleep in on Sundays.
Nosy co-worker: "So, what church do you attend?"
Actual worker: "Saint Mattress (aka: St. Mattress). I sleep in on Sundays."
Actual worker: "Saint Mattress (aka: St. Mattress). I sleep in on Sundays."
by K2kate May 2, 2010