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Masturbating Monkey

Gay monkey that sits in the zoo cage, shows you its dick and then jacks of to your kidz standin at the window staring at them.
Q: Mummy, what's that monkey doing?
A: Never mind. Now Tonianne get away from that window and lets go to the lion cage now.
by Sarah April 1, 2004
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Masturbating Man in Pompei

This man saw the world around him becoming ash and fire, but still decided to crank one out. A fucking legend
Man One - Who's Your Hero?
Man Two - Masturbating Man In Pompei
Man One - Oh shit
by NateTheCanadian July 22, 2018
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Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.
Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!
by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010
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Masturbating Muscle

The muscle you develop between your forearm and bicep on the arm of the hand you masturbate with.
John: Hey broski, wanna hang tonight?

Joe: Ehh... I dunno, I was really gonna work on toning my masturbating muscle tonight.

John: Oh.. I getcha, I worked on it last night.
by aaronthejoo May 11, 2011
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Masturbating Sally

Sexual gratification derived from watching a female masturbate with a lisp.
"Do you like it when I touch my puthy?"
"You're such a Masturbating Sally"
by Ron Raper January 30, 2017
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Masturbating with the Invisible Hand

When a person becomes sexually excited while discussing economics, especially Adam Smith's traditional economic theory of the invisible hand.
When Cody passionately rambled on about economics, his friends told him to quit masturbating with the invisible hand and learn how to play sports.
by goldman or bust May 8, 2010
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masturbating maniac

Someone, usually a male who masturbates obsessively every day for hours, for months and years on end.
by kam75xx May 20, 2023
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