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Logging On

An act of revenge undertaken by defecating on the keyboard of the transgressor's laptop, followed by closing the device.
He stole my iPod, so I shut his laptop after taking a shit on the keyboard. I call it "Logging On."
by Doug_Cohen April 15, 2011
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Loggin' Off

"Charlene What are you doin in there, you've been ages!!?"
"I'm loggin' off!"
"Dirt"
or
I really have to log off, I'm touching cloth man!
by Phatzoot June 23, 2011
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Related Words

Logging

The art of strategically placing a fresh turd on a person's shoulder. To achieve total "logging efficiency", one must place said fresh turd on the shoulder for as long as possible before the source of the stench is found.
Steve's insightful opinions on foreign politics were completely undermined by the existence of a fully fledged log on his shoulder.

Steve: It is my opinion that the new government's policies are completely-

Jim: Dude, you have a turd on your shoulder.

Steve: Oh man, I totally got logged!

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Gary is a true logging ninja
by Glengarry Glenross July 1, 2011
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loggage

n. The enormous, burdensome lump of shit you carry around in your gut that awaits sweet release.
Larry: "Dude, let's go for a jog."

George: "No fucking way, I've got a ton of loggage to deal with first."
by Bjorn Bumquist August 8, 2009
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logged in

Being ready to do something. Usually poised in the form of a question to see if someone is ready to go. It can also apply to being in the right mind set to go somewhere. Usually asked before a social function or get together.
"Hey man I can't wait for this party Are you logged in?"
"No man I need to take some shots then I'll be logged in"
by HobbyLover November 1, 2013
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loggersexual

Hipster transplant to pacific northwest and dons flannels, a beard and Frye boots not for setting choker in the woods, but for going out to fake dive bars and getting their over-under haircut from a female, who calls herself a barber.
Where you headed? Down to the Doug Fir to drink some Pabst and listen to Bon Iver.....You're so loggersexual!
by Loggersexual August 2, 2016
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Dry Logging

A condition involving the feces of a habitual, binge drinker. Dry Logging results from dehydration from too much alcohol causing the drinker's feces to be come rigid and crusty and sometimes even rough. Dry Loggers often create worse conditions like trucker's knuckles or tear an anal fissure.
Jim is a weekend warrior. He starts partying at 5:00 p.m. on Fridays and doesn't stop until Sunday evening. All of his rowdy drinking dehydrates him. Despite is water intake, it can't keep up with the booze and he always winds up Dry Logging at the office on Monday morning.

Sandy: What is the sound? It sounds like someone straining and then whimpering. Is there a hurt animal in the parking lot?
Receptionist: No. No animal. It's Jim from the Business Office. He's Dry Logging the executive washroom. He does it every Monday before Mr. Brandt arrives.

Sandy: Sounds painful.
Receptionist: Yes. I heard a couple months ago he ripped an anal fissure. Guess he was out a few days.
by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015
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