(as) fat as a beached whale

very fat, exceedingly obese

My older half-sister in law was as fat as a beached whale.

by Light Joker December 7, 2004

beached whale

a scandalous online newspaper made by some amazingly genious girls

Did you read about *** getting shafted by **** in The Beached Whale today??

by Tabatha November 5, 2003

Beach Whale Rescue Team

A male who in desperation or drunk will seek out a fat chick to take home and rescue her from being a virgin. Also so he can get laid to fill that void.

Aaron: Hey Josh, I heard you took Amy home last night?

Josh: Yea?

Aaron: Dude she looks and weights much as a beach whale!

Josh: So?

Aaron:When did you get your membership for the BWRT(Beach Whale Rescue Team)

by escnuk3r September 19, 2011

beach whale rescue team

N. When one of your friends takes a fat girl home and rescues her from virginity. Most of the whales can rely on a black male to get the job done, because they like big asses and they will make her happy with an anaconda that will give her a kid, that he won't support. Normally anyone with any standards will not get near a good year blimp unless they are drunk, but for those of us who want to fuck something we can see through binoculars, will avoid joining this team. The team helps fat chicks get laid and they help us get one hell of a blowjob that we won't tell anyone because if so than they will ask if she bought dinner.

Aaron: Hey Jason I hear you part of the beach whale rescue team.
Jason: What do you mean?
Aaron: That whale I saw you kissing on last night in the corner to where no one could see you.
Jason: Yea man, but fuck you she gave good head and gave me breakfast, before I disappeared out the back door.
Aaron: Why did you choose to rescue her?
Jason: I was drunk and needed a slut buster.

by syn0psys- September 19, 2011

beached whale

when on a beach (preferred, but may also partake away from the beach)when a woman is on her knees and forearms and her hands are in the praying position, and the guy kneels behind and proceeds to stick his wang into her anal orphace until he gets sand (or excrement)on his member, therefore being (beached)

michelle cheated on tyler when she gave EJ a beached whale, which caused him to always look guilty.

by andyland June 20, 2004

Hoe beached whale slut

@__.aly_ssa.__

Hoe beached whale slut goes to st michles

by Fukin aussie July 30, 2019

washed up beach whale

a robust female who has arrisen from the ashes of fat-fuck ville. She enjoys gobblin cock w/ her pimply busum and is comonly known to swallow giz often.
-OR-
a mamoth of a women who's sole purpose in life is to consume massive amounts of cum drizzled cup cakes

Lily! wtf? why u gotta b a washed up beach whale huh?

by the 1 and only hebrew nigger June 28, 2003