Bedside Baptist

The church you go to when you decide to sleep in.

"Hey Mary did you go to church today?"
No, I took a little trip to Bedside Baptist"

by MsDghtry14 May 9, 2010

baptist preemie

when the conception is premature, rather than the birth.

Sarah Palin's son Track just had a child three months after the wedding; must be a baptist preemie.

by BJ33196 August 18, 2011

Southern Baptist

Currently, the largest protestant denomination. They believe the following:

1.The scriptures (Bible) are the inerrant Word of God.

2.Trinity (ONE God in 3 persons, who are God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit)

3.Salvation is by grace alone. (You cannot work your way to heaven)

4.Once Saved Always Saved (That is, you cannot lose your salvation)

5.Man's nature is sinful.

6.Baptism by immersion. Baptism is a picture of your salvation and it does not save you.

Well, those are some of the basic fundamental beliefs that Southern Baptists have.

Southern Baptists go by what the Bible says alone.

by JohnJohn1186 November 5, 2004

baptist sex

Anal and Oral Sex. Because Baptists take a vow of chastity before marriage, which only means vaginal penetration.

Dude. I heard you went out with the Minister's daughter who had a chasity ring. How was It?
Man, we did Baptist sex all night and she could not walk straight the next day

by Heathen Boy April 1, 2018

landover baptist

A false internet-based church dedicated to exposing a side of christianity most do not know.

Landover Baptist does not welcome those who are not saved

by Falconrath August 13, 2003

Southern Baptist

The most hypocrtical and narrow minded religion in the United States, and possibly the world. Not only is it bad enough they are Protestant, they bash everyone who is not of their church and condemn everybody to hell, including Gays, non Christians, and even other Christians like Roman Catholics and Greek/Russian Orthodox members. They are in company with the likes of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson--they are the epitome of hypocrisy.

Jerry Falwell said 9/11 was America's fault because of gays.

by Jo Jo February 3, 2005

Landover Baptist

A fantastic parody site that pokes fun at ultra-conservative fundamentalist Christians.

Recent articles include "The Pope's Message From Hell" and "Inside the Sick Mind of George Lucas."

Hilarious, but also disturbing due to the fact that there are people out there who would probably wholeheartedly agree with the majority of the material on this site.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

Francis bought a "Love Me or Burn!" Jesus button from the Landover Baptist Store.

by camry June 12, 2005