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Traffic Tampon

A driver who gets in the middle lane of a multi-lane highway/freeway and proceeds to drive under the speed limit, effectively stopping the flow of traffic.
We were cruising along nicely until we hit a pocket of slow traffic. Everyone was trying to get around a traffic tampon camped in the center lane.
by YB85 March 23, 2011
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Meat Tampon

The white absorbent material used to soak up the blood from packaged meats.
"He forgot to remove the meat tampon before cooking his steak."
by Jameth11 July 3, 2020
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tampon cult

a group of people who party and dance around tampons. some people like to swallow the toxins off of the tampon case.
Girl 1: Hurray hurray the tampon cult shall dance another day!
by anonymous pickleperson February 17, 2021
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Tingling Tampon

A tampon that is filled with THC and CBD distillate and diffuses over hours. This has been proven to reduce inflammation, PMS, and other symptoms of periods.
When I use a tingling tampon, my periods are much lighter and my vagina feels great!
by iMonkeyBIZ February 9, 2020
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Shart Tampon

A wad of toilet paper or an an old sock stuffed into the back of one's underwear to curb the effects of chronic sharting.
I farted hot liquid into my underwear. What i need to do now that i'm cleaned up is use a Shart Tampon.
by Herman P. Willis November 5, 2008
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nasal tampon

A small wad of toilet paper or tissue jammed up one's nose in order to prevent the nose from dripping. Often used against a running nose during a cold or flu, or against a bleeding nose. The nasal tampon protected the nose from damage by eliminating the need for repeated wiping.

Nasal tampons are left in all day, or until full, and are often used inconspicuously, just like the real thing.
Doctor Acula - Well, Andrew, your prostrate is clean, but I need to talk to you about something. Sit down.

Andrew - Oh no, what's up?

Doctor Acula - There seems to be some kind of growth in your nose; we think it might be cancerous. Here, take a look at this X-Ray.

Andrew - Oh, that. That's just my nasal tampon. My nose kept dripping onto my xbox controller.

Doctor Acula - Get out of my office.
by malarky2020 March 29, 2010
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Emotional Tampon

n: A role taken on by the man in a 'just friends' male/female relationship. An emotional tampon is a man who will always be there to provide a woman with the proverbial 'shoulder to cry on' or some other outlet for her to otherwise vent her emotional frustration, problems, and mental unbalance. Ultimately, he becomes the only person for whom this behavior is reserved as nobody else will tolerate it but him.

This Herculean effort is too often never rewarded in any substantial or tangible way (at least not in a way that the man would typically hope for, which is a good skronking session, or at least a BJ), and is typically the only contact between the two parties.
The late comic Sam Kinison (1953-1992) coined the phrase "Emotional Tampon" in his first HBO comedy special "Sam Kinison: Breaking the Rules" in 1987, with this line:

"So you just want to be friends, huh? Yeah, I think I know what that means. I become some kind of 'emotional tampon' you need three or four days out of the month... when no one else will take your f__king bullsh__..."
by Gregory Pius February 18, 2004
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