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Pork Scotch music

The type of shit music played by fat old men at barbecues. The music is usually of South African origin and has a rhythm which the fat old man can't resist doing a gay dance to when he gets drunk on rum.
Monk: The barbecue's fine but why the shit music?

Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
by flappy dickwad June 20, 2009
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Scotch Fillet

A flaccid cock unable to achieve erection due to alcohol consumption.
Rhonda was so horny she couldn't wait for her boyfriend to get home to pound her cervix. However he drank too much partying and when he got home he had a Scotch Fillet. Rhonda settled for sucking on his wet noodle while she diddled herself.
by Eaton Holgoode May 25, 2015
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Man Scotch

Man Scotch: The action of aimlessly jumping from man to man, or relationship to relationship to fill a void in a female's heart or legs.
Guy A: Man, Lisa is really letting loose since her break up... That is the 3rd dude she banged this week...
Guy B: Yeah she is stuck in a perpetual game of Man Scotch...
by Failsh3d December 23, 2011
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Pork Scotch Pants

Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
Sweet Jesus what's that fat git wearing?

They're Pork Scotch pants. Vile aren't they?
by Flappy Dickwad May 5, 2009
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Pork Scotch pizza

The world's finest pizza topping. The pizza of choice of fat security guards it consists of a Marguerita pizza topped with pork and gravy.
Why is that security guard so fucking fat?

You'd be fat if you ate 3 Pork Scotch pizzas every day.
by Lumpbag May 4, 2009
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Pork Scotch friends

Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.
Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?

Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.
by Lumpbag August 15, 2009
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Scotch Watch

the result of drinking too much, or preferably scotch. when the victim falls asleep, they get a ballsack slapped on their wrist, thus the notorious Scotch Watch
Frat Boy 1:Dude, Jerry passed out!
Frat Boy 2: dude, it's a perfect time to give him a Scotch Watch!
Frat Boy 1: Ehh, you're right, he's a pledge anyway
by Ya Boy Trax June 16, 2010
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