Read and Prepare 

A tactic used by teachers in collaboration with Satan in order to keep students awake until 3 am. It is said that halfway through a read and prepare, students begin seeing John Smith in their nightmares. Pretty much the definition of masochism.

Guy: Do you wanna go out?
Girl: I'd rather do a read and prepare on the night before it's due.

Jared: I'm gonna start the read and prepare the night before it's due since I have so much work.
John: RIP ur gonna die.

Read and Prepare by bruhmoment1095 October 9, 2021

Read It On Reddit 

The longest-running Reddit based podcast. (But not the official one) Run by two Australians.

They have 209 episodes as of the first of October, 2020.

Person 1: What are you listening to?
Person 2: A podcast.
Person 1: Witch podcast?
Person 2: Read It On Reddit.

Read It On Reddit by Listen to Read It On Reddit October 1, 2020

read it and weep 

You can use this phrase when you want to give someone bad news, especially if that news is in written form.

"How did I do on the test?"

"You failed. Read it and weep."

read it and weep by calmecac August 10, 2009

Read and rub 

When someone sends or says a sexually explicit paragraph of fantasy and lust and asks you to rub your vagina while reading it in aims to get you wet.

The paragraph often contains the phrase 'read and rub' at the end. Sometimes it is phrased as "read it and rub" in familiarity with the phrase "read it and weep".

Typically sent as an online message but can be received via hardcore pen and paper post, video messaging and face to face.

Person 1:*sends big paragraph about sex and sexual experience they want to do*
Person 2: Wow
Person 1: Read and rub bitch

Read and rub by Mypasswordispassword June 24, 2014

read the palm 

Marc Mandrake slang definition: talk to the hand.

Amanda: ur a loser!!!
Marc: ya know what... read the palm!

read the palm by Hall Monitor Suze June 8, 2005

Read a book 

Is said to someone that lacks the knowledge required to do a given task or maintain a reasonable conversation.

John: The internet is a series of tubes.
Jane: Read a book would you!

Read a book by qwepoiqwepoiqwe December 7, 2012

Read Possession 

The percentage of time you actually read during study hours.

Dani: "So, did you finish that book today?"

Chris: "Nah, my read possession was ridiculous. I felt I was in control before lunch, but I totally fumbled in the second half. At one point I was browsing Pokémons online!"

Read Possession by killer bee October 25, 2012