Rectum Raider
Rectum Raider by Max June 6, 2003
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Rectum, damn near killed him!
This is the punchline of complete joke:
Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.
"Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.
She said, "Rectum."
"Wrecked him?" Johnnie said. "Damn near killed him!"
Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.
"Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.
She said, "Rectum."
"Wrecked him?" Johnnie said. "Damn near killed him!"
Rectum, damn near killed him! by ax949 October 9, 2003
Related Words
Rectum Fruit
Wow, dude I just let loose a huge load of rectum fruit!
I have to go deposit some rectum fruit into the feces receptacle.
I have to go deposit some rectum fruit into the feces receptacle.
Rectum Fruit by ELEANORANDCOLETTE March 15, 2011
Rectum Raider
Rectum Raider by Choco McBrown Town July 30, 2008
Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em
There are various setups to this punchline. Here's one:
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'
As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.
Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'
The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."
Or this shorter version:
Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'
As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.
Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'
The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."
Or this shorter version:
Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!
Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em by the_only_real_coffee_sloth September 10, 2009
Rectum Rooter
That lucky fellow who has a wife or girlfriend that likes to be spontaneous while having sex with her. After being a thorough Bung Licker and totally cleansing her stink star, he reaches for his Jack Juice and liberally coats his rock hard cock and her gumhole and proceeds to enter her balloon knot ever so slowly. Once he has buried his root, balls deep in her rectum, he begins a gentle pattern of slowly withdrawing and reentering her turdcutter. He gradually builds up speed, pistoning away until reaching the point of no return and gushing his man load deep inside her tailpipe, thus being her ever loving Rectum Rooter.
Todd: Hey Larry, you have never been so relaxed. What gives?
Larry: Man, Linda was one hell of a Bag Lapper last night and she begged me to be her Rectum Rooter as I was being a Bung Tounger. She didn't have to ask me twice. The Jack Juice made it one hell of great way to dump the biggest load I ever had in her tight as hell tailhole.
Todd: Damn, at least she wasn't a Bunghole Bandit. You lucky bastard.
Larry: Man, Linda was one hell of a Bag Lapper last night and she begged me to be her Rectum Rooter as I was being a Bung Tounger. She didn't have to ask me twice. The Jack Juice made it one hell of great way to dump the biggest load I ever had in her tight as hell tailhole.
Todd: Damn, at least she wasn't a Bunghole Bandit. You lucky bastard.
Rectum Rooter by The King Cornholer April 15, 2008
Rectum Scale
A system of measuring flatulance. Similiar to the Richter Scale but used to measure assquakes as opposed to earthquakes.
Rectum Scale by jerk jiggler February 20, 2005