Mental Masterbation

Pondering philosophical questions, which may be enjoyable, yet are so removed from reality, or experience that they have no practical use.

Someone that thinks of far out 'what if' questions

Note- Not all philosophy is mental masterbation.

"Today we spent three hours mentally masterbating to Kant's critique of pure reason"

"I got a degree in mental masterbation!" someone graduating with a degree in rhetoric, philosophy, anthropolgy, multicultural studies, etc

by Marcus L January 1, 2008

female masterbation

putting your finger or fingers in your vegina in and out until pleasured, sprayed out sticky juicy warm cum and screamed like a bitch

I know Becky, I waited for Bob to come over all night long but he didn't. So instead, I fingered myself and ate my cum.

by fuck master June 5, 2003

chemical masterbation

To use/abuse or pleasure oneself with drugs. Usually referring to narcotics or rather hard drugs such as opiates (heroin, morphine oxycodone, methadone, demorol, ect..) or the stronger stimulants such as cocaine, methamphetime or other amphetamine like compounds. And also usually doing so in high excess/abuse.

person a:Man, that cat used to be cool but went over the edge with chemical masterbation
person b: what do you mean?
person a: he went off the deep end shootin coke.
person b: oh yeah your right, he jacked some money from me the other day.

by LeibstandarteAdH (Matt B.) April 1, 2007

female masterbation

watering one's flower. ;)

by Anonymous January 23, 2003

Verbal Masterbation

v. The act where one masterbates through speech, taking great personal pleasure by listening to one's self drone on endlessly.

I can't stand listening to that geek's verbal masterbation; will someone please stuff a log in the fucker's mouth!

by D'emon November 5, 2002

Laws of Masterbation

1) you may only jizz on a guy if he is dead or unconscious.

2) You may only jizz on a girl if she is alive and conscious.

3) you may not jizz in front of family members

4) you may not jizz in front of a guy unless both of you are jizzing on the same girl.

feel free to add more.

Dude, you just broke the first and third laws of masterbation by jizzing on your dad!

by anon113618436 January 5, 2010

Urban masterbation

The activity, or sport, of ejacualting on random people in towns and cities, and then running away.

1) "Oh god, what happened to you?"

2) "Some asshole ejacualted all over me while I was walking home from work"

1) "Ah, he must have been playing urban masterbation"

by originalname1234 September 19, 2012