Missouri 

Do you want Oklahoma but with no lakes and ten times as fucking boring? Missouri is right there. Crackheads, drugs, abandoned buildings? We have it all. Wanna shoot up? Ask your neighbor for some heroin! Here at missouri well give you whatever you want if you got a gun pointed towards our head! Well except the rednecks they get a little feisty if you walk across there house. Also perfect for kidnappings! Cops don’t give a shit here in Missouri! Ever wanted all your shit robbed? Welcome to Missouri we’re there’s a pedophile and criminal in every half a mile radius!

Guy 1: Let’s move to Missouri!

Guy 2: I’ve always wanted to smoke laced weed at a kum & go parking lot. Let’s go!

Missouri by The druggy across the stree June 28, 2022

Missouri 

Sorry excuse of a state

Lets go to that sorry excuse of a state Missouri to see a man fall on his face after being chased by a baby.

Missouri by MrBongoMan December 12, 2022

missouri tuxedo 

When a man wears a sportcoat or blazer with jeans.

Yeah, since it was a company jeans day, my buddy was thinking he'd go with a canadien tuxedo for his meeting with the CEO, but his wife told him he should at least wear a Missouri Tuxedo to avoid looking like a douche.

missouri tuxedo by torque boy December 26, 2011

Missouri Cannonball 

Materials Needed:
funnel, balloon, mixing bowl, wooden spoon

Preparation:
Pinch a glorious loaf in a glass mixing bowl of your choice. Add urine, then use a wooden spoon to work it into a soupy solution. Inflate the balloon by mouth, then insert the funnel into the opening of the balloon and pour the solution in while trying to keep as much air contained as possible. To maximize efficiency, the truly daring may choose to blow extra air into the balloon after the fecal matter has neen added. Tie the balloon (or "cannonball," if you will), then hide it where you will be engaging in sexual intercourse with your significant other.

Execution:
While boofing your partner from behind, discretely retrieve the cannonball from its hiding spot. Arm yourself by holding the balloon high above your head with two hands. Suddenly, pull out without saying a word. When your partner turns around, unleash your battle cry: "YAHTZEE!" Quickly hurl the cannonball at their face, popping the balloon, releasing the soupy fecal matter, and thus concluding your relationship.

Brad: "Hey Jack, what happened to you and Steph? I heard you two broke up."
Jack: "Well, she was pissing me off so I decided to hit her with the good ol' Missouri Cannonball."
Brad: "Hoez will be hoez."
Jack: "Real talk" *high five*

Missouri Cannonball by scrambangles November 19, 2012

missouri wheelbarrow 

When a woman plows a dude in the ass while holding his legs and he walks across the room on his hands.

Candice wad thrilled when her husband requested a missouri wheelbarrow on valentines day.

Steve said he feels closest to his wife when she gives him a missouri wheelbarrow.

After receiving a blumpkin, Joe thought it would be only fitting to let Crystal give him a missouri wheelbarrow .

missouri wheelbarrow by McBiscuit10 February 14, 2015

Missouri Pretty 

Some teeth, a couple of kids, old trailer, rusty Jeep, fading tattoos, two pack a day habit, 38 hour a week job, lives in sweat pants, almost graduated high school, and is ready for another try at rehab.

“I got sooooooo hammered last night I made a pass at Brandi the Beast.”
“OMG, the Missouri Pretty one with the frizzy blonde dye job and the missing front tooth?”
“Yep, that’s her.”

Missouri Pretty by boonviller December 10, 2021

Missouri chrome 

slang for duct tape

Hand me the Missouri chrome, would ya? This panel ain't staying in place.

Missouri chrome by allthecoolpseudonymsaretaken August 28, 2011