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Dick guillotine

Vagina so tight it cuts off your penis when it gets tighter.
I can't have sex for weeks now, my sister has a dick guillotine.
by LilGanja1337 March 4, 2021
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Virginia Guillotine

When you stick the tip of a man's penis in an open pocket knife then close it
by WishIWasSwallowed March 11, 2021
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The guillotine

A 'practical joke' that involves lifting the seat of a toilet, and intricately defecating on the front lip of the bowl. You then delicately place the toilet seat on top on the freshly laid nugget, and evacuate the stall.

Ideally, your intended victim will come along to enjoy their peaceful abulution, drop their pants and proceed to sit down.

The result of their bodyweight on the toilet seat will sever a section of turd and eject it like Mary Antoinette's head into the victims awaiting pants.

Everything going to plan, you will have successfully shat in someone's pantaloons while they are wearing them. And probably irrevocably burned any bridges of friendship in the process.
Mark laid the guillotine in the camps mess toilet. Now they have taken all the seats away since we clearly can't be trusted.
by C Spiceyweiner June 12, 2018
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kitty guillotine

When you have a screen door without a screen, you open the sliding window and attempt to secure it open. This is used if you don't yet have a cat door and want to let your cats in and out freely.
Sometimes the window that you thought was secure can fall, mid jump of the cat, and provide you with two kitties instead.
Disclaimer: This has not happened to our cats, although close calls have occured. This redneck contraption is what we refer to as a kitty guillotine.
A storm door, with no screen and the window open can be refered to as a kitty guillotine
by Willow n Pusse September 11, 2010
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Le guillotine de la porte

The fear that one may lose a body part due to any kind of door that is perceived to be closing too quickly. The phrase is said to have originated from 18th century survivors of the French Revolution who passed their remaining days in a kind of post traumatic stress disorder and obsessing about sharp quickly closing things.
"Johnny get your hand back into this elevator, the door is about to close!"

"Mom, it is just an elevator door."

"Yeah that's what you said about the bus door this morning."

"Mom I think you have le guillotine de la porte and the stories you hear are just urban legends."

"Just get your hand out of the door."
by Cirdellin December 31, 2009
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dutch guillotine

Head-locking someone between your knees (slightly bent) and farting
Holy shit, he just dutch guillotined his girlfriend! TKO
by TurdFerguson01 January 31, 2016
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flying guillotine

this is a secondary weapon for the scout class in tf2
unlike all the pistol weapons this is not a hitreg weapon it is a single use projectile that recharges
upon landing a hit with it the enemy will take 50 damage and then have the bleed effect applied for 8 seconds
in total it will deal up to 90 damage
scout1: i can aim consistantly wth the flying guillotine
scout2: id rather use hitreg weapons
by sniper nate October 27, 2020
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