cum-stained futon

A futon in the apartment (usually studio) of a loser who has no girlfriend and is always masturbating.

Kristen: Whew, I thought I might get pregnant the other night.

Jacinda: Why, what happened?

Kristen: I sat on Santosh's cum-stained futon when I visited him.

by SantoshGeorge January 13, 2009

Futonari

The misspelling of Futanari which is Japanese for hermaphroditism or androgyny, but is popularly known for dick girls in hentai and doujinshi.

Also sometimes confused with Futomaki which means "fat rolled sushi" or "Thicc roll" and is a thicker version of a regular sushi roll.
During Setsubun on Feburary 3rd, an event started in the Kansai region of Japan, it is called Ehoumaki "Lucky-Direction Makizushi" and is eaten in silence while facing the year's lucky compass direction.

What's your favourite tag?
I like Futonari.
Did you mean Futanari or did you mean Futomaki?

by Loli vampire 169134 January 30, 2021

futon alliance

A close association of video game players, assembled on a futon (or other seating device), formed to advance common interests by playing as team. Members of a futon alliance are loyal and trusting of each other; they will not act against other members of the alliance. Failure to act in accordance with terms of the futon alliance will result in a player being rejected from the coalition and henceforth being known as a futon asshole.

Rebecca, you better find Molly and destroy her player or else we will lose and you will no longer be a part of this futon alliance!

by uglysinglesclub December 25, 2008

Roommate's Futon Method

Any kind of sexual method, technique or activity that you are involved in, so long as it occurs on your roommate's futon without his/her prior knowledge and results in semipermanent evidence of said activity on said futon. (Whether accidental or not.)

This term is especially viable when used as though it were a safe-sex method.

"My roommate owes me a new futon. He used the Roommate's Futon Method with his girlfriend last night."

by The Masked Jellybean March 12, 2008

Futoning

The act of being sick at college (actually sick, not hangover sick), and spending all of your sick time on the futon, because you can't stay in bed any longer, but you're too sick to go any father than the couch.

"Kendell is really sick, her away message said she was on the futon... oh man, shes futoning!"

"Yeah, I was futoning all last week!"

by thats for you gallo - nsimz March 25, 2004

The Futon Effect

A Futon attempts to be both bed and couch, but makes a terrible bed and a terrible couch. The Futon Effect is a force which dooms many similar attempts to a similar fate.

Spork. A spork is that funny eating thing that is half-spoon and half-fork. Intended for camping, this unnecessary invention makes very bothersome the eating of either liquid or solid food, and thus can be said to suffer from The Futon Effect.

by JAKiii March 8, 2010

Futonic

A type of relationship where one party is indisputably moored in the "friendzone." The result of that relationship inevitably leads to one party always sleeping on the futon, while the other gets the bed.

Friendzoner: "Hey, I'm feeling a little lonely, would you come over and watch a movie with me? You can sleep over if you like."
Friendzonee: "Really?!?"
Friendzoner: "Absolutely, but we have to keep it strictly futonic."

Friendzonee: "Ok, but can I cuddle with the cat tonight?"
Friendzoner: "For sure"

by Saturday's Issue November 28, 2011