football orphan

As likened to a football widow (i.e. a woman that does not like watching football, while her husband loves watching it), these children also do not like football, and are often found reading a LOT during football season

Roger: Hey, Dave! Did you go to Bryan's Superbowl party?
Dave: Yes, I did. Bryan had a good party, but his wife Gail wasn't there, as she and their son Dale went to the mall that day, instead.
Roger, They went to the mall, instead of watching the game? God, why?
Dave: Well, she and Dale don't really like football a lot. I guess they are the typical football widow and football orphan.

by brooskitooski February 5, 2020

duh football

An expression used upon doing something hare-brained or stupid.

Egads! I completely forgot to turn off the circuit breaker before sticking my penis across those bare wires, duh football!

by Dentar July 30, 2008

Football Widow

N. A woman who must cope with the temporary death of her relationship during football games.

Nothing will draw Stalney away from the TV on Sunday. Jill realized she's become a football widow.

by Julie H December 8, 2005

football zombie

A person who is so obsessed with football that they tune out the rest of the world and become unresponsive to any unrelated stimuli. This occurs during the game itself, any news pertaining to football, or whenever they read about football. And any free time they have is spent immersing themselves in football.

My husband has turned into a football zombie. When Sunday afternoon comes, I get no attention from him.

by IH8FB November 12, 2012

Football cut

Similar to a bowl cut, the football cut is designated for grandma's and/or mom's with blonde hair. The hair goes just under their jaw and curls inwards towards their neck. They get their hair done every week and put thousands of dollars into their hair for it to look like a football.

Person 1: "hey, you see that old lady over there with the football cut?"
Person 2: "yeah, lets go cut it so it looks NORMAL! HA!"

by rPysh February 7, 2017

Pick up a football

Popularized by Twitter user @dril.

A Sentence used to tell someone that they're a complete moron, and should go outside for a while, instead of making much more of a fool of themselves

Person A: "I just played World of Warcraft for 12 hours straight.."
Person B: "Dude... Go pick up a football."

by Pimp Roosl November 1, 2020

Monkey fucking a football

Used to describe a group of people trying to complete a seemingly mindless task and fucking it all up.

Watching the roughnecks make up BHA was like watching a monkey fucking a football.

by fishinguy August 14, 2015