A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand

A blowjob is worth the value of two handjobs. Frequently used in negotiations by cheap hookers. Not to be confused with the meaningful expression involving birds and bushes.

HOOKER: "Okay you got two blowjobs and half a handjob, that will be $4.50"
DUDE: "What? That's a bit steep, I thought you told me a handjob was only a dollar!"
HOOKER: "Its fair. A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand"

by fgsdfsq November 4, 2014

a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand

Sex with a woman is always preferable to jerking off

You coming to the party? There's going to be lots of trim.
Nah, gonna stay in and jerk off.

C'mon, dude, a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand.

by Shuaman December 13, 2016

The Dickhand

The act of placing your hands on your genitals and then in the presence of people, places, or things where they are unwanted. Most common in the preparation of food, while shaking hands, or to making contact with an enemy/rival. This is done either intentionally to spite, or unconsciously, usually after using the bathroom and not washing.
Can provide some temporary satisfaction for the "giver". Females can aslo give "the Dickhand"

You shouldn't have yelled at the drive-thru attendant. Now our food will probably get the dickhand

Danny is a jerk, that's why I gave him the dickhand when he dapped me.

by Jdbbl May 23, 2008

dickhand

The hand a male uses to masturbate himself with. Also, the hand a male uses to hold his member while inserting it into an orifice or other object.

Excuse me miss, I broke my dickhand when I fell off my bike, can you help me?

by RaFF-L September 3, 2003

Dickhands

The state of male hands at the period of time between pissing and washing their hands. Exists for as long as one goes without washing his hands, however requires a witness in said case.

"Company policy states that you must greet each intern with a smile and handshake."

"To hell with that, I followed Lemmings out of the restroom, the consistency of his Dickhands has lasted a few days now!"

by Kombat Mann January 2, 2012

dickhand vagina

When two puratonikku bros are void of puss for a sufficient amount of time, leading to the joining of hands to replicate the look and feel of a vaginal cavity. Each bro then proceeds to insert their fully heterosexual dicks into the corresponding vaginus hole, and proceed to simulate intercourse.

Bro 1: ha ha bro you know what would be really funny and not at all gay at all? if like we partook in some good ol' fashioned dickhand vagina!
Bro 2: yes bro! YES!

by lolilover299 May 7, 2018

Dickhanded

When something is stolen from you right as you were going to pick it up.

jacked swiped

I was reaching for the remote but my bother dickhanded it and put on some cartoons.

by Satansballsakk August 6, 2010