Devout Christian Mom

A Devout Christian Mom (DCM) is like my mom. She's the kind of mom who tries to control every aspect of her kid's lives in fear of her religion. She won't admit she fears religion, but inside she probably does. She believes anyone who is gay, believes in evolution, or thinks we should deal with climate change is a Satanist. If you're her kid, you're screwed. She thinks spanking kids only serves to make them strong and brave. She'd prefer to give a kid a shitty religious education rather than a public school education because, "God said so", or whatever she believes.

Normal kid: "Aw crap, I tripped!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Did you just say CRAP!?"
Kid: "Well, yeah..."
*Kid gets sentenced to being spanked ten times every other day*

Kid: "I can't take this! I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!"
Devout Christian Mom: "WHAT!? Come on, we're going to have you talk to the pastor. You have been playing those violent video games again!"
Kid: "We don't even have violent video games in our house!"
Devout Christian Mom: "Are you saying that I'm a fool!? More spankin's!"
*Kids gets even more depressed and hateful, and eventually kills himself*

Devout Christian Mom: "WHY DID THE DEVIL HAVE TO MAKE MY BABY LISTEN TO RAP MUSIC!? Oh Ronald Reagan, PLEASE BRING MY BABY BACK!"

Reagan's ghost: "Shut up lady. My only advice for you is to get yourself spayed."

Devout Christian Mom: "Birth Control is evil! How dare you. You aren't the real Ronald Reagan, you're SATAN!"

Reagan's ghost: *Floats away in frustration*

by Mr. big E. March 23, 2019

Christians - Nothing, Lions - Everything

And the final score is Christians - Nothing, Lions - Everything. This is a saying by those who supported a noble lost cause.

And the final score is Christians - nothing, Lions - Everything.

by I, Wreckerrr November 5, 2020

War on Christianity

This is a phrase used by the majority religious group in the United States (Christians) to describe occasional and feeble acts of resistance by the minority religious groups in response to Christians' persistent proselytizing, criticizing.

When a Kwanzaa display was put up next to a Christmas display on the lawn of the courthouse building, the Christians in the area cited this as more evidence of the war on Christianity.

by opinion emitter October 25, 2010

Westover Christian Academy

Bunch of punk ass niggas wont let a nigga live fucking giving detention to every single thing I do shitt let a nigga live and breath they are up your asshole trying to find any fucking mistake you did

I fucking hate Westover Christian Academy since its faculty as fucking retarded.

by Rog strix g15 laptop gaming April 23, 2023

Central Arkansas Christian CAC

A private, Christian school in north Little Rock. CAC takes pride in their students looking like they are 'good' people. A student cannot have attraction towards their own gender (which is different than homosexuality) or they will be kicked out. There are many other specifications that a student must 'be' or follow. The president and principle of CAC takes pride in making sure every student looks like a perfect person. A person was asked to leave after people joked that he would shoot up the school and the president, Dr. lambert harassed him for it, assuming that he was guilty. African-Americans are also called the "N" word there, people are very racist to them, even some of the teachers. The school is very messed up in many ways. I really can't wait for them to be publicly exposed (for the sake of all things Holy, lol).

Person#1: "I will be transferring to Central Arkansas Christian CAC"
Person#2: "But you're black??? Don't you know you'll hate it?"
Person#1: "I hear that they try to represent Christ and accept everyone, right?"
Person#2: **Rolling on the ground laughing** "Get a clue"!

by your real name. May 1, 2020

mount dora christian academy

located in mount dora . all little bitch white boys go there that are hoes

he go to mount dora christian academy

by no tea no shade just facts September 9, 2019

Christa

A complicated girl. Don’t mess with her, not unless you want to have your heart taken out. She’s one of a kind, unique and special to those fairly close to her. She is crazy and weird. Attracts quite a few boys and girls to her because this. She’s beautiful inside and out. Though, she doesn’t really believe that.
Others may not believe that too, but once you get to know them, you’ll know it’s true.
She’s sensitive and act aggressive, but she’s a small cinnamon roll most of the time.
A mood-swing mess, but that’s how she is and I like that.

If you ever stumble upon a Christa like this one, make sure to give her all your love and affection and keep her close to your heart.

“Woah, that girl over there is feisty and crazy!”
“Oh, that’s just Christa. She’s always like that lol”

by SachiNatto26 September 25, 2019