John Michael

The act of some little shit coming up and groping your asshole, just like the infamous John Michael

Man, I was just John Michaeled

by Dr. NigNog October 17, 2025

John

The most average person on the planet. Has a medium-income job, a medium house, a wife and 2 kids, a dog, has a hobby that he likes, an average social life, average morals, average skills, etc.

Dude, John is really average.

by buddy retard June 19, 2020

Doing a John Opkins

John Opkins is an English voice actor renowned for his gift at doing a range of English accents.

‘That ain’t his real voice. He’s doing a John Opkins.’.

‘That geezer don’t talk like that normally. He’s just doing a John Opkins.’

by SwissMinty February 22, 2025

Perfect John

weird Asian man, enjoys endgame and iron man dying. He really enjoys "My Little Pony" Though like omg he has like the whole set of ponies.

Look at that perfect John he can do anything right.

by Nightmares Are Real May 3, 2019

john funk

a very self absorbed femboy twink, a knee slapper, a self proclaimed man , a comedian, a gigolo, his intro song is “i aint got nobody (just a gigolo) by louis prima”. money getting, hes a grinderrr oh oh oh ohhh he get money fr oh oh oh oh ohh, likes to slap tf out hoes if out of line, he spreads the love alll arounddd, the one and only big nasty, he likes to feather his mullet, does roids on a daily basis and ends up getting hemorrhoids from the strong strain, unleashes the most diabolical, unhinged, life taking, nose hair burning farts ever. also shits himself alot bc of the strain and pressure of the farts.

“yoo is that john funk?” “yeah bro i heard he got the gnarliest farts ever man”

*farts*

*burns nose hairs off*

“damm nigga chill out u pullin a john funk w those farts”

*looking in the mirror w self obsession*
“aye bro u ever gonna leave the mirror alone?”
“nah im the fairest of them all the mirror said so”

by jim bithell March 10, 2025

a john howard

Shovel poo from ones bum

And smear it on another person's eyebrows

She looks like she's had a john howard

by leroy 1111111 October 21, 2022

John Cronined

When you tell someone whatever they want to hear to get them to settle down or go back to work.

This guy asked me when the job would be done so I " john cronined" him and told him it would be don't today!!!!

by Blazenink September 29, 2022