Speeding ticket

When you, a retard that can’t just STAY IN THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT, BECAUSE YOU ARE A RECKLESS AND DESTRUCTIVE DUMBASS, get pulled over for speeding. Dropping a gear and disappearing is also considered evading and eluding arrest; don’t do it. 1; now if you get caught you get punished MORE, dumbass, and 2; you’ll hit something and die for being a retard with a crotch rocket superbike wreck for a brain.

Respectable Sheriff: “Sir, did you even know how fucking fast you were go-“
Recipient of speeding ticket: *Drops a gear and tries to disappear, runs into an F-450, getting his blood and guts dragged across a road after being launched.*
Respectable Sheriff: “Holy shit… I’m just gonna call that one in……”
You can die, dumbass. Hold your horses and be reasonable. Have some fucking patience. Get there early, get there late; doesn’t matter. Just fucking get there and don’t die. It helps.

by The ceo of shit Cold War guns April 22, 2023

Flag

Get the Speeding ticketmug.

ticket to the skybox

Drugs that make you

hallucinate

Don't even try cop, Ain't no motherfuckin' drugs at my spot
All you'll find in my closet is the high tops
And my motherfuckin' ticket to the skybox
-- Ice cube - Good Cop Bad Cop

by K1NAN December 13, 2017

Flag

Get the ticket to the skyboxmug.

womb ticket

A pregnancy test.

Bro, my ho done give me a womb ticket ...ain't no way that fuck trophy is mine.

by Ditto2458 May 17, 2020

Flag

Get the womb ticketmug.

a parking ticket

an unpleasant surprise

a white Roman Catholic family in a mainly WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant) neighborhood comes home from church to find the words "alieni ite domum" (latin phrase meaning strangers go home/strangers are not welcome" scratched into the wood of their front door.

the father, upon seeing this, says: ah those Confederists again. What a parking ticket. i guess we'll just have to repair the damage, or maybe even repaint the door.

by Sexydimma January 29, 2012

Flag