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buzz monkey

buzz monkey, a person with too much energy to dispose of in an orderly fashion.
she was dancing around like a hyperactive buzzmonkey on acid.
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cell monkey

A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.

This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).

Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.

It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?

Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
by idiot emptor April 24, 2009
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Monkey Poon

Noun
1. The act of getting sexual pleasure from a female
2. The pussy area of a female
3. A smelly vagina
1. "Yo last night was crazy as hell! I got some sweet monkey poon from Laquisha!"
by CoolConnor1985 November 2, 2010
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Girth Monkeys

Used when referring to a large set of breasts.
A: Damn dude did you see Jayce’s Girth monkeys last night?!
B: Yeah dude they were buckin!
by Giggittygiggitygoo February 9, 2019
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UX Monkey

A person who claims to have knowledge of the field of UX, but is actually devoid of any knowledge of the field. The problem is rooted in the combination of self-delusion, self-grandiosity, self-righteousness, and an inability to see what UX truly is in reality.

Some schools that offer UX cetifications are factories that produce UX monkeys, as they cajole oblivious people with the promise of imparting real knowledge that is in fact superficial.
UX Designer: What do you think of the hamburger menu on this site?

UX Monkey: What's that? The menu at a fast food joint?

UX Designer: Ummm ... the one in which there are options housed in a navigation drawer. Didn't you learn this from your UX degree?

UX Monkey: Yeah. I don't know. All we do is make wireframes and stuff.

UX Designer: Bro, I think you're a UX monkey.
by notanothermonkey February 8, 2018
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Tech Monkey

Someone who is really interested and passionate about technology. Not to be confused with "code monkey".
Geoff: "Hey nice Android Phone, does it have the 2.2 update yet?" Allison: "No idea, it's just a phone, you're such a Tech Monkey."
by Gee.... November 21, 2010
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stoop monkey

Most likely involving members of the black community "posted up" on their front steps...or "stoop". Usually for a duration of time longer than the normal 8-hour workday. Most likely dressed in white-T's, sometimes involving brown paper bagged 40's, and occassionally joints behind the ear.
"You would not believe how many stoop monkeys are out today"
by K&M est. 2003 August 19, 2008
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