Most likely involving members of the black community "posted up" on their front steps...or "stoop". Usually for a duration of time longer than the normal 8-hour workday. Most likely dressed in white-T's, sometimes involving brown paper bagged 40's, and occassionally joints behind the ear.
by K&M est. 2003 August 19, 2008

A lazy person who often procrastinates and delays their work, often eats bananas and other fruits shaped like a planetarium to stay big and strong.
Johnny: Mike is such a procrastination monkey, he has big dreams that he wants to achieve yet he's just laying there on his couch doing nothing to reach them.
David: I think he has schizophrenia! Give him the pills Johnny!
David: I think he has schizophrenia! Give him the pills Johnny!
by CookieLikeABookie January 4, 2023

A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.
This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).
Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).
Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.
It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?
Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?
Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
by idiot emptor April 24, 2009

The fat friend of your group. Often is into and collects worthless junk. Usually eats pizza for breakfast.
by Dr. KLUE October 1, 2008

When a woman returns home after a long and boring day working in a restaurant with the sole aim of getting shagged silly. Her advances lack subtlety as she just grabs at the man´s genitals demanding coitus. When faced with any resistance she jumps on the unaccommodating male and rides him into oblivion.
Nicky: Hey Amanda, do you fancy a drink after work?
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!
by FurbyFuck10 November 26, 2015

A person who claims to have knowledge of the field of UX, but is actually devoid of any knowledge of the field. The problem is rooted in the combination of self-delusion, self-grandiosity, self-righteousness, and an inability to see what UX truly is in reality.
Some schools that offer UX cetifications are factories that produce UX monkeys, as they cajole oblivious people with the promise of imparting real knowledge that is in fact superficial.
Some schools that offer UX cetifications are factories that produce UX monkeys, as they cajole oblivious people with the promise of imparting real knowledge that is in fact superficial.
UX Designer: What do you think of the hamburger menu on this site?
UX Monkey: What's that? The menu at a fast food joint?
UX Designer: Ummm ... the one in which there are options housed in a navigation drawer. Didn't you learn this from your UX degree?
UX Monkey: Yeah. I don't know. All we do is make wireframes and stuff.
UX Designer: Bro, I think you're a UX monkey.
UX Monkey: What's that? The menu at a fast food joint?
UX Designer: Ummm ... the one in which there are options housed in a navigation drawer. Didn't you learn this from your UX degree?
UX Monkey: Yeah. I don't know. All we do is make wireframes and stuff.
UX Designer: Bro, I think you're a UX monkey.
by notanothermonkey February 8, 2018

by Giggittygiggitygoo February 9, 2019
