Skip to main content

Flab Monkey

The fat friend of your group. Often is into and collects worthless junk. Usually eats pizza for breakfast.
by Dr. KLUE October 1, 2008
mugGet the Flab Monkeymug.

jump the monkey

When a woman returns home after a long and boring day working in a restaurant with the sole aim of getting shagged silly. Her advances lack subtlety as she just grabs at the man´s genitals demanding coitus. When faced with any resistance she jumps on the unaccommodating male and rides him into oblivion.
Nicky: Hey Amanda, do you fancy a drink after work?
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!
by FurbyFuck10 November 26, 2015
mugGet the jump the monkeymug.

cell monkey

A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.

This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).

Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.

It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?

Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
by idiot emptor April 24, 2009
mugGet the cell monkeymug.

Monkey Poon

Noun
1. The act of getting sexual pleasure from a female
2. The pussy area of a female
3. A smelly vagina
1. "Yo last night was crazy as hell! I got some sweet monkey poon from Laquisha!"
by CoolConnor1985 November 2, 2010
mugGet the Monkey Poonmug.

UX Monkey

A person who claims to have knowledge of the field of UX, but is actually devoid of any knowledge of the field. The problem is rooted in the combination of self-delusion, self-grandiosity, self-righteousness, and an inability to see what UX truly is in reality.

Some schools that offer UX cetifications are factories that produce UX monkeys, as they cajole oblivious people with the promise of imparting real knowledge that is in fact superficial.
UX Designer: What do you think of the hamburger menu on this site?

UX Monkey: What's that? The menu at a fast food joint?

UX Designer: Ummm ... the one in which there are options housed in a navigation drawer. Didn't you learn this from your UX degree?

UX Monkey: Yeah. I don't know. All we do is make wireframes and stuff.

UX Designer: Bro, I think you're a UX monkey.
by notanothermonkey February 8, 2018
mugGet the UX Monkeymug.

Kitchen monkey

Another word for a woman. They are always running around making sandwiches like monkeys in a kitchen.
Son: wow dad mom needs to calm down it’s just pasta
Dad: yep that’s a kitchen monkey for you
by FamousJew February 26, 2020
mugGet the Kitchen monkeymug.

crass monkey

A mixture of Four Loko and orange juice. A play on the traditional "brass monkey," consisting of a 40 of malt liquor and OJ.

Also known as "an even poorer man's mimosa."
Four Loko and orange juice? That is one tasty crass monkey!
by jgoodson28 January 24, 2011
mugGet the crass monkeymug.

Share this definition