turd sandwich 

A presidential canidate.

A Zei Kirin.

Bush is a total turd sandwich.

Billy, stop being a turd sandwich (Zei Kirin).

turd sandwich by TYME PART 2 November 4, 2004

Turd Burglar

Someone that comes into the bathroom and tries to open an occupied bathroom stall.

"I was having a nice shit when I was interrupted by a Turd Burglar, so I coughed to scare him away".

Turd Burglar by iceman26 March 11, 2007

turd banger 

Commonly used as a derogatory term to a person (or animal), a "turd banger" is one who literally bangs turds.

By definition, all male homosexuals are turd bangers.

Lee, you're such a turd banger!

turd banger by Turd Unbanger November 14, 2007

turd burgaling ass bandit 

someone who loves to munch forcefully on the asses of unsuspecting victims

kyle snuck up from behind and ravaged my bum hole, what a turd burgaling ass bandit

turd burgaling ass bandit by big andy C May 7, 2007

turd in your pocket 

When someone tries to include you in a "we" that you don't feel part of, the traditional response is "We? What do you mean, we? Do you have a turd in your pocket?" Translates as semi-funny emphatic rejection of false or forced collectivism. (My "do you have a mouse in your pocket?" is the cleaned-up version of the old rhetorical rejection of the false "we.")

#1: We can take care of that.

#2: We? What's this "we" shit? Do you have a turd in your pocket?

turd in your pocket by Why da'ya Care November 8, 2007

turd charmer

A turd charmer is one of a few highly trained members of a secret turd-charming sect that you can go to in India to deal with those stubborn turds one gets from time to time. When the turd charmer plays, the turd is animated and is summoned by the music of the flute.

It was months since I had last shat...I went to the best doctors money could buy. The doctors ran many tests on me, but finally concluded that current technology was not yet ready to handle my problem. Their analysis determined that my turd had been highly compacted under the immense pressure. It hardened to a degree it was 20x stronger than even carbon nanotubes. A general from Area 51 offered me a billion dollars if i'd let them research my turd, but I declined. Alas, there was nowhere to turd but the turd charmers of India. I was skeptical at first, but I took a place to Sri Lanka and walked through long stretches of desert until I at last came to one of the last remaining turd charmers. He made a deal--He would help me, but in return he got to keep my turd. I was reluctant at first, but i realized it was that or death. I bent over and he played his flute. I felt a rumbling from deep within my bowels, and i was terrified. My turd was animated by his amazing flute skills, it slowly emerged. The turd charmer was in a trance and did not notice the turd angrily staring at him. My turd turned it's direction towards me for a quick glance, then immediately set out into the sunset where it was never seen from or heard from again.

turd charmer by Dark Lord of the Anus May 6, 2005

TURD BURGLAR

Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. This should not be confused with an Uncle Ted.

So there I was, minding my own business in the crapper, when some dude came out of nowhere and Turd Burgled me. I started coughing hoping to alert him of my presence, but the Turd Burglar just wouldn't stop trying to get into the stall. Needless to say, it was a terrifying experience.

TURD BURGLAR by noahat May 5, 2009