Turtle Dip

Tea-bagging someone with a turd hanging half-way out of your asshole. Preferably, the recipient will be blind-folded or closing their eyes to keep them in suspense over whether they are about to get the ballsack or the shit with every successive dip.

"I gave your mother the turtle dip, not because she is such a whore but because I thought it would make her stop trying to fuck me."

by mrcheesenowait October 22, 2011

Turtle Farmer

one who farms turtles for a living.

a light insult when you dont want to get all vulgar. Unless you want to get vulgar then you add it to a vile slew of words

Guy1: Thats not a tortoise, that's a red eared slider.

Guy2: What are you a fucking turtle farmer?

You goddamn mutha fucking shit rolling dick lactating crack licking turtle farmer

by Crunchyness May 11, 2007

ninja turtles

It is a group of 5 frineds Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello and their sensei, Master Splinter and they spend their nights making fun of others behide their backs and they get a kick out of it.

I went out with the ninja turtles last night and they are still the same old people making fun of people it is just sad.

by Avery Manshake January 13, 2008

turtle thump

unsatisfying coitus with an extremely small penis... so small, in fact, it is sucked up into the man's body like the head of a turtle, nearly making intercourse completely impossible altogether.

Brian: "It's just sad when you please a women and they go crazy. She was begging for another donkey punch."

Kelly: "...more like a turtle thump"

by havwingswillfy April 8, 2010

Bashful Turtle

When, whether due to overly-restrictive clothing, uncomfortably low temperatures, or the use of stimulants, a man's penis retreats almost entirely into his body. In extreme cases it's possible for even an uncircumcised male's member to completely disappear from view, leaving only the outer skin of his penis bunched up like the neck skin of a turtle hiding its head in its shell.

"Man, these running short are too tight. When I got to the bathroom it took me a minute to take care of the bashful turtle so I could take a leak."

"I swear I'm never hooking up on a ski trip again. When his pants came off all you could see was his bashful turtle."

by emmdeejay April 23, 2010

turtle grip

To grip something as if it were like a turtle biting it with its sharp beak!

I could not get the pillow from Regan, she had a turtle grip on it!

by pimpin turtle grip January 10, 2011

Turtle Bitching

To take forever to get ready to leave, usually for a party, when everyone else is waiting.

Liz, quit turtle bitching! Get your ass out the door NOW!

by Ginger Kitten April 12, 2011