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Phonics Monkey

The Phonics Monkey from that one episode of South Park where Cartman misspelled CHAIR in a spelling bee. When Cartman tried to get help from the phonics monkey, it just started beating off behind its drumbset.
A consumer report included the growing number of returns of the infamous reading product, the Phonics Monkey, which just turns out to be a degenerate species of bonobo chimp.
by aka_Pyro April 6, 2007
mugGet the Phonics Monkeymug.

jump the monkey

When a woman returns home after a long and boring day working in a restaurant with the sole aim of getting shagged silly. Her advances lack subtlety as she just grabs at the man´s genitals demanding coitus. When faced with any resistance she jumps on the unaccommodating male and rides him into oblivion.
Nicky: Hey Amanda, do you fancy a drink after work?
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!
by FurbyFuck10 November 26, 2015
mugGet the jump the monkeymug.

Flab Monkey

The fat friend of your group. Often is into and collects worthless junk. Usually eats pizza for breakfast.
by Dr. KLUE October 1, 2008
mugGet the Flab Monkeymug.

Monkey Money

In-game currency in the games Bloons TD 6 and 5 that can be spent for a higher game advantage or cosmetic skins.
Person 1: "Did you know that compared to Arcaea Memories, which is another ingame currency, Monkey Money has a much lesser value when converting to USD implying that inflation exists in the Bloons TD 6 universe."
Person 2: "God damn."
by chair fucker 69 September 8, 2022
mugGet the Monkey Moneymug.

Monkey Poon

Noun
1. The act of getting sexual pleasure from a female
2. The pussy area of a female
3. A smelly vagina
1. "Yo last night was crazy as hell! I got some sweet monkey poon from Laquisha!"
by CoolConnor1985 November 2, 2010
mugGet the Monkey Poonmug.

buzz monkey

buzz monkey, a person with too much energy to dispose of in an orderly fashion.
she was dancing around like a hyperactive buzzmonkey on acid.
mugGet the buzz monkeymug.

cell monkey

A person who is ostensibly unable to walk, chew gum, sit, eat, drink, sleep, work, shop, drive, breathe, take a crap, or accomplish any other task commonly performed with or without opposable digits, unless a cell phone is inexorably attached to the side of their head.

This person is typically oblivious to almost all stimuli around them including any carbon-based life forms, merging traffic, lights at intersections, toll booth gates, falling pianos, the cashier in front of them, the check-out line behind them, the person they've just walked in front of, the inappropriateness of their loud phone rants, or anything else involving sight, sound or smell (such as the fungus slowly growing on the mouth and ear piece of the greasy device).

Ironically, it has been shown that when placed in a room with other family members and friends, but without the cellular appliance, this person has alarmingly little to say to any of them. This time spent communicating face to face has been estimated to be a mere fraction of the corresponding period spent talking to the same people through the device, and at great and perpetual urgency.
Get off the phone and drive cell monkey.

It's your turn dumbass! STFU and write the check or run your debit. This store has gotta ban the freaking cell monkeys in checkout lines?

Hey cell monkey, your fly is open and you're standing in front of the forklift.
by idiot emptor April 24, 2009
mugGet the cell monkeymug.

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