Emergency Alert System

a public warning system revolving around the fucking scary ass set of 3 tones you hear followed by a completely robotic text to speech voice or an overhyped radio announcer that is usually completely unintelligible or distorted to the point where it sounds like static. also used for presidential addresses during national emergencies.

“that fucking emergency alert system message last night scared me”
“yeah san diego has been getting tons of them recently”
“why”
“the fuck would i know i’m not the one issuing the alerts”

by fuck you ea September 18, 2023

Salsa Emergency

An emergency of the salsa variety. Usually used in the process of preparing salsa con queso while trying to find the perfect balance of salsa and cheese. Whenever there is too little or too much salsa, there's a salsa emergency. To emphasize the urgency of the situation, "Salsa Emergency!" should be shouted whenever a salsa emergency is discovered.

Salsa Emergency!!

I know you're concerned since we're usually the ones in charge of salsa emergencies.

I was preparing the salsa con queso for Cinco de Nacho and we had a salsa emergency.

by The_Hawk August 5, 2009

milk emergency

When you eat a cookie or brownie and suddenly NEED milk to satisfy your taste buds so you stop whatever you are doing and all out sprint to the fridge destroying everything in your path to satisfy the urge in the short window that it lasts.

I stiff armed grandma on the way to the kitchen to get a gulp of milk because I had a milk emergency while eating a brownie in the basement while playing minecraft and jerking off.

by milkman262 December 18, 2013

Sadists Emerald

Green plant matter, usually the stem of a vegetable that one must either consume or take a bite of if a bet/money match is lost.

Person 1: I heard Lewis lost that LoL match to Luke, now he has to take a chomp out of that 3 week old broccoli stem.

Person 2: That some sadistic shit right there.

Person 1 Yeah, it's the gem of a casual sadists arsenal. The sadists emerald.

by unitology July 29, 2016

fred egerton

Fred Egerton is so fucking sexy. The most sexy thing ever.

Girl: who's that really sexy guy.

Girl2: Fred egerton

by Daily facts July 16, 2017

dick emergency

A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.

ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click

by demergency July 8, 2019

Straight Elmer

Horny piece of shit that is not good at anything.

Your nothing but a straight elmer with your bottlenosed dolphin lookin ass.

by Samthesaucegod April 17, 2019