e-mail monkey

A disease workers obtain (usually ones confined in cubicles) when they are over-eager to recieve an important e-mail. This is common among computer engineers, programmers, and bosses who do nothing.

NOTE: the e-mail monkey is a disease, but is very literal because a monkey will climb on top of your back

(WARNING) It will press the e-mail key with its foot

The only way to cure e-mail monkey is to deactivate your interneuter yourself and go cold turkey (which literally climbs on your back)

(from Dilbert : WHEN DID IGNORANCE BECOME A POINT OF VIEW? by Scott Adams)

Asok: I have an e-mail monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want

Asok: I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist!

Asok: But Look! the stupid monkey hit my keyboard with his foot

by Uber Pwnager January 19, 2009

Bar Mitzvah Monkey

A "Bar Mitzvah Monkey" is a prostitute who has been hired for a Bar Mitzvah. They are normally hired by friends of the male who the ceremony is for. These women are pre-paid to show up at the ceremony and fornicate with the male who will be journeying into adulthood. It is common for these women to pick up extra money by also selling to guests of the Bar Mitzvah. Not as commonly, these prostitutes may be hired for Bat Mitzvah.

"I'll be hiring a Bar Mitzvah monkey for Eli's ceremony this weekend."

by Renholder October 18, 2011

albino monkey cock

a white furry gargantuan cock that is so good and furry and huge that it can go up your ass out your mouth and in your pussy all at the same time (it’s my favorite thing to do)

furry raper “HOLY FUCKING SHIT DAWG have your seen cocklover69’s albino monkey cock!? i fucking love it so very much to shove up my piss whole🤤”

by crack_snortter69 August 28, 2022

goofy ahh monkey

when some retard in yo teachers class says some goofy ahh shit about you to their teacher 💀💀💀💀💀💀

jon is a goofy ahh monkey 💀💀

by TheKneecapLord April 29, 2022

Trunk Monkey

Getting having your sex with your bitch while she sits on the trunk of your car

Me and my old lady went out lastnight and I got me some trunk monkey before I took her home

by d.key April 21, 2006

corporate ass monkey

The terrible result of an experiment involving the cross breeding of a buttmonkey and a corporate monkey. Often spreads deadly diseases in the form of corporate jargon, smoke blowing, and complex acronyms.

Take your profit growth and shove it up your ass you corporate ass monkey.

by Ragedookie September 21, 2005

club monkey

1) A club addict.

2) Someone that goes to the club wearing FuBu clothes and platted hair and looks like a monkey.

3) An individual that arrives at the club stoned.

Lil John and his east side boys are club monkeys.

by I am Dog September 6, 2005