Johned

To mess up frequently in cases particularity to spelling, grammar, and attracting females.
Guy #1: Look at that guy, he just got denied by that girl.
Guy #2: Ya, he totally johned up.
by Monica Marcone April 06, 2017
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The Immaculate Penis of John

What's that?
That's John's Immaculate Penis.
Oh.
Also known as The Immaculate Penis of John.
by El Zodiac April 26, 2024
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pre-johning

the act of blaming your terrible gaming skills before the game even started.
Person one:“yeah bro, I have controller drift so I’m probably going to suck.” Person 2:“Dude, stop pre-johning and just play the game.” ( The catch is that he doesn’t have controller drift and just sucks.)
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John:

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?
Your name is JOHN: As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.
by Utter_Lozer October 09, 2024
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the best thing in the world , a person who obliterates everything else in his terms of cuteness , intelligence , strength and intimidation . the unseen god of this world
"John hippe-wiggle-diggle-nose is godly , hes a damn treasure"
by Child Le Ultimate June 16, 2022
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"Dude , John hippe-wiggle-diggle-nose is literal god"
by Major Malard June 16, 2022
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John 1:14

A cool Bible verse that says: And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
Person 1: Yo bro have you heard of John 1:14
Person 2: No, what is that?
Person 1: Its a cool Bible verse it says: And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
by IFuckingHateEve November 25, 2023
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