Porch Porn

noun

Also Porch-porn, Porchporn

1. The act of setting up a glitter bomb, dye trap, or any other “gotcha” decoy package on your doorstep for the sole purpose of filming a porch pirate getting humiliated — then uploading the footage for clout, moral superiority, and a little sparkly revenge.

2. Vigilantism rebranded as content creation. A suburban spectator sport where petty theft becomes a viral kink for people who get their dopamine from watching someone explode in glitter instead of personal growth.

3. The digital-age stocks: you bait the thief, the thief takes the bait, the internet gets a show, and everyone pretends it’s about justice instead of views.

“Bro, stop doomscrolling Porch Porn. You’re starting to think glitter counts as law enforcement.”

by APedant December 5, 2025

Cock porch

Big gut over hanging someone's dick

Check out the cock porch on Wayne. He really let himself go.

by Jabroni272 January 6, 2026

Porch swing angel

A chick who digs anal.

Margaret let me do her up the ass last night. She really loved it. She is a true porch swing angel.

by ImD-licious May 30, 2023

Porch Mexican

An old Mexican dude that snorts cocaine off the front of his property

The old porch Mexican does cocaine off the railings, his porch

by Passdadrip June 5, 2023

Front-porch ass

An ass that look's really good to anybody else going by, but nobody actually hangs out there because it’s uncomfortable.

My wife has a front-porch ass because I never actually get to use it.

by Maxbender May 25, 2025

basement porch

otherwise known as a “FUPA” (fat upper pubic area), a basement porch refers to the fat that’s stored below the waist and above the genitals, usually protruding from plus sized women who wear tight-fitting pants or jeans

“I love bigger girls. Girls with a double chin, thick thighs and a basement porch are 10/10”

by austinzsoice May 2, 2024

Baltimore Front Porch

The act of braiding a girls hair while she give you a blow job.

Dude 1: I got a blow job last night from a baddie! She made me braid her hair while she was doing it though.

Dude 2 : Bro that's a Baltimore Front Porch.

Dude 1: sick!

by Malmal Migo May 3, 2024