Hand sanitizer fact

When your statement is 99.9% a fact

Who needs to be smart when you’re funny, am I right?

That’s a hand sanitizer fact

by Hopscotch November 10, 2019

Hand-to-Face

When you stretch so good you slap someone in the face.

This one time i stretched so hard I gave her a hand-to-face (slap)

by Reediculous13 November 20, 2018

helen keller with broken hands

Shoving your hands so far up a girls ass that you break your hands and then the pain makes you go blind and deaf.

Guy 1: Damn man what happened?
Guy 2: I pulled the old Helen Keller with Broken Hands on her...

by BrunkPlays September 07, 2018

Gay hands

When you lift your forearm but leave your wrist relaxed.

I see you doing it. You're gay.

"He says he's straight but walks around doing the gay hands all the time, the closet is made of glass"

by francescunt October 29, 2021

sandy hands

Find people who could use an extra pair of hands cleaning up Hurricane Sandy Damage.

sandy hands org helps match volunteers with people needing an extra pair of hands cleaning up hurricane sandy damage.

by SandyHandsORG November 06, 2012

Lay Your Hands On Me

They say that to be able to free your body
You gotta free your mind
So come on
Check this out
Lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me
Lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me
Come on!
If you're ready, I'm willing and able
Help me lay my cards out on the table
You're mine and I'm yours for the taking
Right now the rules we've made are meant for breaking
What you get ain't always what you see
But satisfaction is guaranteed
They say what you give is always what you need, whoa-whoa
If you want me to lay my hands on you
Lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me
All you got to do is
Lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me
Now listen up!
I'm a fighter, I'm a poet, I'm a preacher
I've been to school, oh baby, I've been the teacher
If you show me how to get up off the ground
I can show you how to fly and never ever come back down
Everything you want is what I need
Your satisfaction is, um... guaranteed
But the ride don't never ever come for free, no-oh-oh
If you want me to lay my hands on you
Lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me
All you got to do is
Lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me, lay your hands on me, yeah
Now, now, now baby
Don't you know I only aim to please?
If you want me to lay my hands on you
What you gotta do is

(Lay your hands on me), lay 'em on me
(Lay your hands on me), come on, come on, come on
(Lay your hands on me), everybody's gonna help me now
, I can feel the people sing
(Lay your hands on me), I can feel my heart sing
(Lay your hands on me), if you wanna lay them on, baby, come on now
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, lay your hands on me (If you want me to)
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh (All you got to do), whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, lay your hands on me
And remember (Lay your hands on me)
Well, move it on (Lay your hands on me)
Oh, turn around now (Lay your hands on me)
Lay, lay, lay, yeah (Lay your hands on me)
(Lay your hands on me)
Lay your hands on me

by Death Menace July 30, 2023

frosty hand job

The act of submerging your hand in ice water until it becomes numb and then jerking yourself of while watching the Frosty the Snowman special.
Properly executed you should get the feeling you are being given a hand job by a frozen corpse.

By night 2 of being lost in the snowy forest Timmy resorted to a frosty hand job which reminded him of the many loveless nights with his ex.

by Jarenticus December 19, 2017