John Mayer

IfyouwouldveblinkedthenIwouldveLookedawayatthefirstglanceIfyoutastedpoisonyoucouldveSpitmeoutatthefirstchanceIfIwassomepaintdiditsplattrOnapromisinggrownmanAndifIwasachilddiditmatterIfyougottowashyourhandsohAllIusetodowasprayWouldvecouldveshouldveIfyoudneverlookdmywayIwouldvestayedonmykneesAndIdamnsureneverwouldvedancedwiththedevilAtnineteenAndtheGodshonesttruthisthatthepainwasheavenAndnowthatImgrownImscaredofghostsMemoriesfeellikeweaponsAndnowthatiknowIwishyoudleftmewonderingIfyounevertouchedmeiwouldveGonealongwiththerighteousifIneverblushedthentheycouldveNeverwhisperedaboutthisAndifyouneversavedmefromboredomicouldveoneonasIwasButLordyoumademefeelimprantAndthenyoutriedtoeraseusohYoureacrisisofmyfaithWouldvecouldveshouldveIfIdonlyplayeditsafeIwouldvestayedonmykneesAndIdamnsureneverwouldvedancedwiththedevil…GodrestmysoulimisswhoIusedtobeThetombwontclosestainedglasswindowsinmymindIregretyouallthetimeIcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetimeIfclaritysindeaththenwhywontthisdieYearsoftearingdownourbannersyouandLivingforthethrillofhittingyouwhereithurtsGivemebackmygirlhooditwasminefirst..IcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetimeOhGodrestmysoulImisswhoIusedtobeThetombwontclosestainedglasswindowsinmymindIregretyouallthetimeIcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetime

john mayer: dickhead who can’t date woman his age

by 19stooyoungtobemessedwith June 25, 2023

John Teacher

A bulky man who loves green, and talks about his cats nonstop. His main students are Claire and Sarah. Goes on his phone while he gives us 91876 assignments to do in 45 minutes.

"Complete the 91876 assignments in 45 minutes, or it becomes homework!" John Teacher screeched, in his raspy voice

by Milkis Official September 29, 2020

John

John is a guy who works really hard in what he’s good at like sports and he tried hard in school. He cares a lot for people and if ur important to him in his life he will make time for you. He’s a goofy blonde headed guy who is east to fall for, he may have some secrets of his and feel down sometimes but really all he needs is to open up to someone even if it’s hard sometimes. He has kinda of strict parents and it can get in the way of him having fun sometimes. He gets all the girls because he’s so flirty and leaves girls wondering “I wonder when he’s gonna text back next.” He will shoot his shot but he expects the same energy back. He is super considerate and is interested in what u say and is really ideal boyfriend material. He’s ur typical teenage boy but on the inside it’s something u don’t wanna miss. HE ALSO HAS SOME NICE ABS GEEZ.

Me: “im no simp, but John just changes that.”

by Gabbyhaha January 11, 2021

john

random normal guy that works at some company you have no idea exists

guy 1: *working*
john: *walks up* my shift is done
guy 1: ok?

by Stupid Af July 12, 2021

John

John is the most perfect guy you’ll ever meet. He’s smart, good-looking, and most of all the sweetest.

Pls marry me john!!

by Beebor 1 June 30, 2022

Ricky John

When someone jerks off inside of a Porta John in a desperate attempt to bust a nut after an unsuccessful attempt to take a girl home from the bar.

Bill: Hey Hank, what took you so long in the Porta John?

Hank: Oh I had to rub out a Ricky John real quick before I go home. I got blue balled bad tonight.

by giggitygoddamn69 January 23, 2023

Johned

When a “friend” ignores your messages either on purpose or just ignorance.

Brad got johned by john

by Dangetjohn June 6, 2022