Porch Beers originated during COVID when we couldn't hang out inside. It's a sacred time for middle-aged suburban dads to complain about their wives (and kids). It sometimes involves looking over your shoulder before asking your buddy, "But you said that to her?"
Dave: "Tough week at work. Porch beers?"
Ankur: "Hell yeah."
Erik: "Yeah man. I've been getting my B's busted. Let's do it."
Ankur: "Hell yeah."
Erik: "Yeah man. I've been getting my B's busted. Let's do it."
by Friends Show July 19, 2025
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Get the Porch Lip mug.Those porch Monxicans thought they were slick speaking Spanish and laughing when I walked past them, but little did they know I got an A+ in Spanish class so I know they were talking shit about me.
by Kria1990 September 9, 2025
Get the Porch Monxican mug.A young man with a long scraggly beard who joyfully steals packages from upstanding citizens and dresses in traditional homeless Romanian attire.
Jeff: “Hey man, have you seen Colby lately? He’s wearing 3 jackets and a big ass bogan and it’s 96 degrees outside”
Todd: “Yeah I seen him, he’s a total Romanian Porch Pirate”
Todd: “Yeah I seen him, he’s a total Romanian Porch Pirate”
by Klansman1867 September 15, 2025
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Also Porch-porn, Porchporn
1. The act of setting up a glitter bomb, dye trap, or any other “gotcha” decoy package on your doorstep for the sole purpose of filming a porch pirate getting humiliated — then uploading the footage for clout, moral superiority, and a little sparkly revenge.
2. Vigilantism rebranded as content creation. A suburban spectator sport where petty theft becomes a viral kink for people who get their dopamine from watching someone explode in glitter instead of personal growth.
3. The digital-age stocks: you bait the thief, the thief takes the bait, the internet gets a show, and everyone pretends it’s about justice instead of views.
Also Porch-porn, Porchporn
1. The act of setting up a glitter bomb, dye trap, or any other “gotcha” decoy package on your doorstep for the sole purpose of filming a porch pirate getting humiliated — then uploading the footage for clout, moral superiority, and a little sparkly revenge.
2. Vigilantism rebranded as content creation. A suburban spectator sport where petty theft becomes a viral kink for people who get their dopamine from watching someone explode in glitter instead of personal growth.
3. The digital-age stocks: you bait the thief, the thief takes the bait, the internet gets a show, and everyone pretends it’s about justice instead of views.
by APedant December 5, 2025
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