emaciated small asian concubine, occassionally drips slime off of body. Loves to violate animals of all kinds ranging from trolls to insects.
Distinguishing characteristics:
1. Loves to run around without pants
2. Has dry chapped skin usually covered in Cetaphil
3. Has extremely ugly face contortions
4. Has frisky hands
5. Enjoys small dogs, especially ones that can't get away
6. Emaciated.
However, Captain fugly has the occassional nice..ness...
which makes her very loveable and cuddly...if you want to start bleeding.
Also answers to the name:
JIAJIA
Captain foogly
No seriously shes cool.
<3 JIAJIA
Distinguishing characteristics:
1. Loves to run around without pants
2. Has dry chapped skin usually covered in Cetaphil
3. Has extremely ugly face contortions
4. Has frisky hands
5. Enjoys small dogs, especially ones that can't get away
6. Emaciated.
However, Captain fugly has the occassional nice..ness...
which makes her very loveable and cuddly...if you want to start bleeding.
Also answers to the name:
JIAJIA
Captain foogly
No seriously shes cool.
<3 JIAJIA
by Lehsah December 07, 2007
After fucking a girl in the ass, you wipe the shit off your dick under the girls nose for the mustache and then punch her in the eye to give her a black eye for a patch.
by D43M0N July 06, 2010
Is a puke that is self important with one or more tragic character flaws. Usually these pricks pretend to be all about the war but have some piss poor excuse for not going but every reason in the world any other male might go. This type of asshole will listen to and pretend to understand rap. He will be anti-Semitic but not understand what a Jew is from a hole in the ground. He will have a real big time problem with "jack offs" despite being the worst possible kind of jack off. They also have a real problem with fat boys and take the controversial stance of being against "perverts" or "pedophiles" three times an hour. Captain fucks might also be known as one legged scuba divers if they are veterans or pretending to be veterans. Captain fucks are almost always rich boys, yuppies, red necks and/or pussy fucking old farts. A female that might act like this is not called captain fuck. She is just a cunt.
Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute from the TV show The Office are cutesy, watered down, safe for TV captain fucks.
by captain fuck May 11, 2010
A lame superhero from the Ratcher and Clank series. Wears green spandex with a lightning bolt on his chest and had sex with a monkey in one of the games in the series. He loses his reputation and somehow gains it back over and over during this whole series. He got angry at Ratchet and is quoted saying "He is definitely off my top 5" referring to myspace.
Qwark can be related to The Green Lantern or Aquaman, stating that he can barley do shit and should not be considered a superhero.
Qwark can be related to The Green Lantern or Aquaman, stating that he can barley do shit and should not be considered a superhero.
Captain Qwark: I am Captain Qwark, the greatest superhero of the galaxy.
Ratchet: Yeah Yeah.
Rachet 5 seconds later: *Shoots*
Ratchet: Yeah Yeah.
Rachet 5 seconds later: *Shoots*
by TacoMann May 26, 2009
this describes anyone who has used a cucumber as a sexual instrument(usually through the rectum) rather than a vegetable
random guy: ''hey! how long do you take in the bathroom man''
other random guy (in bathroom): ''umn.....not long'' (groans)
1st random guy: (opens bathroom door and witnesses a large cucumber hanging from the other random guys ass with a dumbstruck look on his face)
''oh my god, CAPTAIN CUCUMBER, i knew it!
other random guy (in bathroom): ''umn.....not long'' (groans)
1st random guy: (opens bathroom door and witnesses a large cucumber hanging from the other random guys ass with a dumbstruck look on his face)
''oh my god, CAPTAIN CUCUMBER, i knew it!
by the enchanted lemon of hermitage September 19, 2007
Mormon missionary: "I want to be just like Captain Moroni!"
Bystander: "Get the fuck out of my face."
Bystander: "Get the fuck out of my face."
by PoopFaceManShirtPants November 12, 2010
The ship captain is the person in the fam or your friend group that keeps shipping everybody in the freakin' friend group regardless of whether or not they would make a good couple and also regardless of their sexuality. They are the captain of shipping people, thus known as the ship captain. If you have a ship captain in your fam or friend group then I feel bad for you son. Jk. Ship captains are also really good friends because of their determination, understanding, and total lack of selfishness. Ship captains are usually the leader or the glue of the friend group. If the ship captain feels that a ship is sinking, he or she will immediately abandon ship and get a new ship because they need a ship to commandeer. Ship captains always have a reason to explain how their ship would make a good couple. If you're targeted by a ship captain then good luck because they're like paparazzi and they won't stop following you and your shipmate everywhere and teasing you, thus bringing you closer together, which usually works after what I've seen from what the ship captain has done to my friends and their ships. You can have multiple ship captains in a friend group. But one way to identify the true captain is to check their phone and see if you can find pictures of his/her targets, either photoshopped or edited or real. Also, if they smirk proudly at the mention of one of their ships.
Caden: ugh I've been targeted
Me: Great who's the ship captain this time, it wasn't me
Caden: Grace
Me: Oh ya Grace is a really persistent ship captain
Grace: *runs over* Kate look at this amazing pic I've got
*Pic is an edited photo of Caden and Mackenzie*
Caden: oh my gawd
Me: NICE JOB GRACE
Caden: Youre such a ship captain
Grace: Youre welcome CADENZIE
Caden: UAEDGJKVziucjdkfcvUISRJGKfxbaioaerlkngd
Me: LOL
Me: Great who's the ship captain this time, it wasn't me
Caden: Grace
Me: Oh ya Grace is a really persistent ship captain
Grace: *runs over* Kate look at this amazing pic I've got
*Pic is an edited photo of Caden and Mackenzie*
Caden: oh my gawd
Me: NICE JOB GRACE
Caden: Youre such a ship captain
Grace: Youre welcome CADENZIE
Caden: UAEDGJKVziucjdkfcvUISRJGKfxbaioaerlkngd
Me: LOL
by KkMoikK July 17, 2018