Table One

a group, preferably one that comprises a luch table, that one a select few can ever enter.

Anyone not at table one for luch is a chode boy fresh

by CBFTREVVYTREV April 19, 2009

wood table

An ingrian or simple person, normally very pissy.

Kate Weaver and Michael Iovenko are wood tables after they tried to sell dope to the cops.

by ingrain99 May 15, 2016

before-table

A group of especially unattractive subjects occupying public group furniture. Term is adapted from the label on the initial image of a set of before/after pictures commonly used to illustrate the effectiveness of a product or service advertised to improve one's image.

Did you see the chicks at the before-table when we entered? For a second, I thought we walked onto the set of an infomercial.

by hitbyageo April 25, 2004

Table Simping

The act of being submissive to a person simply because they bought a table at a nightclub. Typically occurs when a dude with daddy's money isn't funny or capable of speaking to women, so he spends $5-10k on a table and invites a hot girl with 30+ bodies to stand next to him at his table. The girl wears a slutty cocktail dress and the guy wears ripped light wash jeans, Yeezy's, a gold chain on the outside of his shirt, and a black t-shirt so tight it might as well be painted on. The entire concept is adjacent to prostitution. It's an easy way for beta men to fuck a whore without 'technically' paying for it.

"Hey friends, I was thinking of having a group dinner at my place this Thursday. Maybe cook up some chicken parm and sip some wine while we watch the sunset! Are you interested?"

"No, sorry, I'm going to see insert no-name DJ tonight. Steve from the Seaport is buying $1,500 bottles of shitty Tito's at a nightclub the size of my bedroom, so I'm gonna go table simping."

by artfuldodger69 August 19, 2022

Table snake

A game played at dinner parties and other events. A male puts his penis on the table and waits for someone to notice by yelling "table snake!"
Whoever can go unnoticed the longest wins.

We played table snake at the Christmas party last night. Johnny won when it took 10mins for anyone to notice that his snake wasn't just a misplaced cabana.

by Professor Rosseforp March 10, 2021

Table addict

Someone who packages so much heroin for street sale that contact with the drug causes them to become addicted, even though they don't inject or snort it deliberately.

At her sentencing hearing, Kimberly McIntosh told the federal judge that she had cut and processed so much heroin during her time as comptroller for the Black Guerilla Family that she become addicted, even though she's not a user.

"So you're a table addict," the judge replied.

by stuntmidget January 16, 2012

Table Kink

Having a table kink is when sexual intercourse occurs on ones table, enhancing the arousal even more due to the individuals desire to be fucked/fucking on a table

I would like to try out my table kink

by slut4urmom May 30, 2022