turd handler 

for lack of better words, one who is a complete fucking douche bag.

"Jared ate the last piece of pizza." "That guy is a fucking turd handler."

turd handler by rob metzgar January 14, 2009

turd puppy 

Its a piece of poo thats shit of by a puppy in the shape of a poo puppie and u think its cute cuz u dont know its poop and u go near it to inspect only to find out that its attacking ur face tryin to killl u with its smell and turdy ness
thats when u realize and say ahhh damn turd puppy

Aw, look at that cute puppy; wait a second, that's a turd puppy!!

turd puppy by psychoOCD1234 February 28, 2010

turd burglar

The Hamburglar's more fetid and vastly less successful predecessor.

I thought the McCrappy Meal cam with a Turd Burglar toy...

turd burglar by AngryChegro July 10, 2003

turd burglar

One who burgles turds

My cat took a crap and the dog ate it...he sure is a turd burglar

turd burglar by baldylocks1976 January 29, 2005

turd hustling 

A person who scavenges truck stop restrooms for left over dumps in hopes of finding lost treasure. examples: peanuts, corn, gum, hairballs, drug filled condoms

Matt was disappointed when his turd hustling expedition at the neighborhood Stuckys left him empty handed.

turd hustling by AdaMeaux March 1, 2009

turd laces 

A very thin in diameter, unsatisfying dumpski. Usually preceded and followed by multiple farts.

Dude, I sat down to drop a deuce, but all I got were turd laces.

turd laces by Big Daddy Steve August 15, 2007

turd texting 

Texting on your cell while taking a dump.

David is the ultimate multi-tasker as he is an expert at turd texting.

Mother: "What's going on in there? Other peeps need to use the bathroom!"

David: "Dude, give me some privacy! I'm turd texting!"

turd texting by LouWho December 9, 2008