Scrotal Calamity

When one knicks ones nether regions as a gentleman. And there is a rampant leakage of haemoglobin via ones testes akin to the bouncing Betty’s destruction of German dams in WW2. I.e. when a self proclaimed idiot tries to pop a blood blister but opens up a capillary.

Christ alive! I’ve just sliced my ball sack. Absolute scrotal calamity.

by Slutty-butt-canoe October 13, 2023

Forbidden Calamari

The circumcised foreskin

My doctor cut off my forbidden calamari last week and I’m still recovering.

by Chester the mole tester November 13, 2023

Supreme calamitas

The final boss of terraria calamity

I hate infernum Supreme calamitas

by Vesper123131232132 May 25, 2024

Crispy Calamari

Receiving a reach around in a restaurant bathroom stall

When we were out at Applebee’s, she gave me a crispy calamari.

by anonymous March 21, 2025

Christopher calamitous

When a woman is sitting down pooping, the man kisses the woman and begins to pee between her legs.

Helen asked if we cooked Christopher calamitous more often.

by Kwayvizzle April 5, 2025

Reverse Calamari Sandwich

When a guy called skwid imprints on his Bella muerte, makes an “anatomically correct” anime clone and they give her the ‘ol Double Stuf

Skwid: *snaps second cock off* REVERSE CALAMARI SANDWICH, LETS GOOOO!

by Sir-skwid January 26, 2026

Forbidden Calamari

The ring of leftover skin from a circumcision that resembles a ring of calamari.

I forgot something inside my doctors office after getting a circumcision, when I went back in I saw him putting salt on my forbidden calamari, I was horrified.

by Chester the mole tester December 4, 2025