National Grab A Hand Of Playing Cards Day

On May 17, you gather your friends and family to play card and board games for the afternoon.
What, did you expect something sexual today?
Actually, I'm sure there is.

Cyan: It's May 17, and you know what that means!
Sapphire: Ohhh yeahhhh~
Cyan: It's National Grab A Hand Of Playing Cards Day!
Sapphire: Oh. Yeah. We could do that too.

by Blues and Dumbness May 17, 2019

Minnesota Hand Warmer

Creating a warm, fresh turd or piece of fecal matter that is then held in your hand to prevent frostbite.

Shoveling snow had my hands so cold, I had to make a Minnesota Hand Warmer.

by Giggling_santa February 10, 2025

shaking his own hand

A somewhat polite term for masturbation

"I opened up the bathroom door and Billy was in there, you know... shaking his own hand..."

by bigmacs November 30, 2013

Second Hand Abandonment

When your grandfather abandons your father when he’s a young age leaving him unable to do the things that dads are supposed to teach you and since he never taught your dad he can’t teach you what you’re supposed to know about being a man.

Ryan doesn’t know how to use a hammer because his dad’s dad abandoned his father leaving Ryan suffering from second hand abandonment.

by Owen66 February 23, 2022

The Sleepy Hand

When the man falls asleep and the woman uses his flaccid and feeble hand to pleasure herself. This is done to achieve the climax that he was sadly, unable to provide.

"How did it go with Blake?"
"It was absolute shit - he came so quick and then fell asleep immediately. I had no choice but the sleepy hand.....at least that worked."

by Duckworth's reason to live August 24, 2019

well-manicured hand

A sign of a sexually mature man

“Your well-manicured hand felt so good last night. You must be a sexually mature man.”
“A well-manicured hand is a sign of a sexually mature man”
“You mother said my hands were well-manicured.”

by blu3emo0on March 8, 2025

Hand it out

To Sell Drugs.

Thug 1: Yo my boy, I just bought the drugs.
Thug 2: Ight, hand it out.

by Skoolboy Ty May 21, 2016