cracker jack university

A fictional institution of higher learning where cocky know-it-alls get their education. In other words, got their degree from a Cracker Jack box.

Controlling parent: Yeah, my son is 40 years old, but he still has to obey me, cause IT’S THE LAW!
Judge: Where did you get your law degree? Cracker Jack University?

by Hannibal Cannabis September 9, 2020

To Jack your Nicholson

To jack off, to masturbate.

"Bro, yesterday I Jacked my Nicholson so hard I got blisters on my dick."

"To Jack your Nicholson, or not to Jack your Nicholson ? That is the question." First draft of Hamlet, unpublished.

by Swissbeaver September 24, 2017

lesbian lumber jack

A lesbian who is so manly and dirty she looks like a lumber jack

dude did you see that dyke marie total lesbian lumber jack

Or

so eric nice lesbian lumber jack you brought to dinner its a shame she will be having my grandchildren

by Mike Valente December 14, 2008

Jewish jack-knife

1. In a highway with three or more lanes, driving from the left-most lane to the right-most lane and back again (or vice versa); more impressive with one or more cars in the middle; no turn signal should be used.

2. The act of performing a back-to-back Puerto Rican sweep.

1. "Man, I'm going to need to Jewish jack-knife around these bitches."

2. "Dude, watch this."

by Stinky Finger McGee November 5, 2004

Jump n Jack

When a couple is having sex with the girl on top unprotected and he cannot pull out being that he is on the bottom. She will proceed to jump or move as quickly as she can off of his penis and jack him off. Hopefully to prevent pregnancy.

I was about to cum, so i warned her, and she Jump n jack 'ed me off!

by louhoo December 26, 2009

Jack Daniels-ized

The unexplainable phenomenon that causes young men to urinate themselves while passed out as a result of drinking an excessive amount of Jack Daniel's whiskey. Innocent beds, couches, and chairs are frequently the victims of this heinous crime. Generally speaking, the offender is a recidivist, and is unaware of their drunken actions until it is too late.

"Dude, why's your couch outside?" "Oh, Kevin Jack Daniels-ized it again last night."

by E.R. Aitkenhead October 19, 2006

The Matt Jack game

A game involving a Matt Jacker and several of your friends.
the aim is to get further away than your friends from the Matt Jack whilst giving clues to the Matt Jacker that you are getting away

Person 1: I'm winning The Matt Jack game!

Person 2: fuck you, oh shit! here comes the Matt Jack!

Matt Jacker: can i play?

by Roo Barb March 18, 2009