Microsoft's suicide attempt, after years of grueling research Microsoft's top engineers determined that combining extremely expensive OS prices, too many damn versions with all except ultimate being crippled in some way, shitty compatibility, an OS with a "pretty GUI" resulting in a resource black hole which in turn cost people more money to upgrade only to discover that despite upgrading to the largest amount of memory and most expensive Processor, that due to it's being modeled on black hole physics their computers are no faster than before, they also made sure to make it difficult to use and find things, included a user agony and cruelty infliction system(commonly known as UAC), and decided that to truly piss off admins that even when running as administrator you aren't truly administrator.
Microsoft Engineer1: The tests results from the beta testers for vista are in: anger, frustration, and incidences of user on computer violence are up 300%.
Microsoft Engineer2: wow that's better than predicted.
Microsoft Engineer1: Yeah, and even better 50% of the test subjects committed suicide after a month of using it, another 19% went insane within one month, and another 30% switched to another OS or stopped using computers completely after a month.
Microsoft Engineer2: What about the remaining 1%?
Microsoft Engineer1: That is made up entirely of masochists.
Microsoft Engineer2: Ok then we are good for release, if this doesn't kill us nothing will.
Microsoft Engineers1: With our expertise there is no way this can fail.....unless of course the majority of the population suddenly starts getting off on self inflicted pain.
Microsoft Engineer2: wow that's better than predicted.
Microsoft Engineer1: Yeah, and even better 50% of the test subjects committed suicide after a month of using it, another 19% went insane within one month, and another 30% switched to another OS or stopped using computers completely after a month.
Microsoft Engineer2: What about the remaining 1%?
Microsoft Engineer1: That is made up entirely of masochists.
Microsoft Engineer2: Ok then we are good for release, if this doesn't kill us nothing will.
Microsoft Engineers1: With our expertise there is no way this can fail.....unless of course the majority of the population suddenly starts getting off on self inflicted pain.
by Former Microsoft Fanboy October 9, 2008
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Pure Sigma male. The guy who your mom said not to mess with. The guy who your girlfriend wants to get laid with.
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UCLA student: naw, she's ugly as hell. you just got Berkeley vision.
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Get the Berkeley vision mug.The OS from hell that promises to make your life miserable and wish you can throw your previously fine computer out the window.
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Get the windows vista mug.the newest in a long line of crappy OS's from Microsoft. This one promises to track your every move, so watch out all you internet pedophiles out there!! they'll know who you are!
Gary finished downloading a few videos and suddenly the FBI crashed through the door. "Damn you, Windows Vista!" He screamed whilst they hauled his ass to the pokey.
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