by MichaelR August 07, 2006
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Microsoft's suicide attempt, after years of grueling research Microsoft's top engineers determined that combining extremely expensive OS prices, too many damn versions with all except ultimate being crippled in some way, shitty compatibility, an OS with a "pretty GUI" resulting in a resource black hole which in turn cost people more money to upgrade only to discover that despite upgrading to the largest amount of memory and most expensive Processor, that due to it's being modeled on black hole physics their computers are no faster than before, they also made sure to make it difficult to use and find things, included a user agony and cruelty infliction system(commonly known as UAC), and decided that to truly piss off admins that even when running as administrator you aren't truly administrator.
Microsoft Engineer1: The tests results from the beta testers for vista are in: anger, frustration, and incidences of user on computer violence are up 300%.
Microsoft Engineer2: wow that's better than predicted.
Microsoft Engineer1: Yeah, and even better 50% of the test subjects committed suicide after a month of using it, another 19% went insane within one month, and another 30% switched to another OS or stopped using computers completely after a month.
Microsoft Engineer2: What about the remaining 1%?
Microsoft Engineer1: That is made up entirely of masochists.
Microsoft Engineer2: Ok then we are good for release, if this doesn't kill us nothing will.
Microsoft Engineers1: With our expertise there is no way this can fail.....unless of course the majority of the population suddenly starts getting off on self inflicted pain.
Microsoft Engineer2: wow that's better than predicted.
Microsoft Engineer1: Yeah, and even better 50% of the test subjects committed suicide after a month of using it, another 19% went insane within one month, and another 30% switched to another OS or stopped using computers completely after a month.
Microsoft Engineer2: What about the remaining 1%?
Microsoft Engineer1: That is made up entirely of masochists.
Microsoft Engineer2: Ok then we are good for release, if this doesn't kill us nothing will.
Microsoft Engineers1: With our expertise there is no way this can fail.....unless of course the majority of the population suddenly starts getting off on self inflicted pain.
by Former Microsoft Fanboy August 15, 2008
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by cschermes April 22, 2009
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Vista is a funny, thick, pretty & caring person. She might be a annoying but if you get to know her well you’ll see she’s great. Vista’s will treat her boyfriend with respect and love. If you ever meet a Vista, hold on to her and don’t let go.
Person 1- Do you have a friend like Vista?
Person 2- No, i wish.
Person 1- You should find one.
Person 2-Thats gonna be really hard, but i’ll try.
Person 2- No, i wish.
Person 1- You should find one.
Person 2-Thats gonna be really hard, but i’ll try.
by Joseph Cole May 26, 2018
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Surpassing XP, Vista will be the world's largest and most powerful computer virus. It's Codename is Longhorn, and it is manufactured by the Beast of Redmond aka Microsoft. It will try to lure people in to buying the overly priced piece of shit by stealing transparancy ideas from Mac OSX and making secure command lines similar to Linux. It will only work with certain "security enabled" monitors, so most home users will have to upgrade (again) and some notebook users will be fucked. I have a AMD 64 3200+ with 2 gigs of ram and an 80 gb HDD and I am still running Win2k, although Debian is my main weapon of choice. Vista is already undergoing numerous trademark lawsuits, and it will be replacing NTFS with WinFS, which means support for the FAT's may decline.
late 2006/ early 2007
Me: What's that cd you haave there?
noob: Windows Vista.
Me: What is your primary computer use?
noob: h4xorng!!!!!!!!!!! and web surfing. t3h 1337.
Me: *breaks CD*. You will be fine with this. *Hands him win3.11 cd.
noob: N0!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: What's that cd you haave there?
noob: Windows Vista.
Me: What is your primary computer use?
noob: h4xorng!!!!!!!!!!! and web surfing. t3h 1337.
Me: *breaks CD*. You will be fine with this. *Hands him win3.11 cd.
noob: N0!!!!!!!!!!!
by DavidLeeRoth July 29, 2005
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Visualize Windows XP, a perfectly fine if occasionally clunky OS. Now make it eat three times as much system resources, have stupidly high system requirements, and because that's not shitty enough throw in a Big Brother DRM scheme that's guaranteed to fuck over anyone who isnt a hardware geek. And verily, you have experienced the binary turd better known as Windows Vista.
It costs $300 and doesn't really offer anything that XP doesnt. Is it any wonder people arent jumping on the Vista bandwagon?
by C++ April 28, 2007
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