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John

a very courteous middle aged man that will never understand what you're on about. However, his number one priority is to make you happy. That does make up for his stupidity.
John: "Are you cold? Come here, lets hug you for a bit."
me: "OK." (trying to relax, then sits up energetically) "You do know that my sun envies my moon and that they will always be in a frenzy because like fish they cannot come up for air, they rely on their gills, John!"
John: "Yupp. Now make yourself comfy."
by Krkič February 4, 2020
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John

John is a Sandwich sneaking coke stealing piece of crap. He will steal your food as he makes you unload his car. He will Propose using a chicken. They like crazy women and can’t drive.Not very educated or no common sense.
If you see a John hide your cokes
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Johned

Getting scissors shoved up your nose paintfully and slowly getting nose hair pulled out.
Child: "Hey dude, my dad's brother got Johned yesterday."
Other child: "lmao epic"
by Mr. Fat nose idiot February 12, 2020
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John

Person #1: Yo that guy's British. What do you think his name is?
Perso n #2: Probably John
by petergrifin June 8, 2020
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John

literally could be anyone
Person 1: Did you hear about John?
Person 2: Which John?
Person 1: John S
Person 2: Which John S?
Person 1: John Smith
Person 2: Which John Smith?
Person 1: The one with the blonde hair
Person 2: Oh yeah couldn’t believe that he tried to flush his foot down the toilet.
Person 1: No that’s a different blonde John Smith.
by spicy pseudonym September 28, 2020
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John

John is a peach licking cunt
by TiberiousOW April 6, 2017
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John

In a few words A Fat Bloke that’s bad at telling jokes. His hair is disgusting and shits out of his pussy. Next person who sees him will eat his pussy. Don’t come in eye contact with him. He never will set foot from his home because he can’t go anywhere. He is condemned in solitary.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’s a chicken John.
by Duffman II November 21, 2017
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