Jesus up on

v.t. to Jesus up on (someone)

1. to startle by appearing out of thin air in a seemingly magical way

I thought I was home alone when suddenly, out of nowhere, my mom Jesused up on me.

Dude, don't Jesus up on me like that.

by amenohi3 May 12, 2010

Da Jesus Book

A Pidgin English version of the New Testament, written for those whose native (Or most understood, at least) tongue is Pidgin English.

The Lord's prayer as recorded in Da Jesus Book:
God, you our Fadda.
You stay inside da sky.
We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay,
An dat you stay good an spesho,
An we like dem give you plenny respeck.
We like you come King fo everybody now.
We like everybody make jalike you like,
Ova hea inside da world,
Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like.
Give us da food we need fo today an every day.
Hemmo our shame, an let us go
Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready,
And we no stay huhu wit dem
Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff,
But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us.
Cuz you our King.
You get da real power,
An you stay awesome foeva.
Dass it!

by capitan October 12, 2004

Jesus Walks

A song by Kanye West. Also a dance created by Kanye West while performing the song on stage at a concert.

1. "Jesus Walks" is a good song

2. Look at that dude on the dancefloor! He's bustin' out the Jesus Walks!

by DJHill August 24, 2004

jesus cripes

Used to express surprise

OH JESUS CRIPES I RAN OVER A PHEASANT

by Cripes Almightly! October 16, 2013

Jerusalem Syndrome

1. A person exhibiting religious delusions, obsessions, compulsions or psychoses as a result of touring the holy city of Jerusalem. This person is said to have no previous history of mental problems, and most often these symptoms pass some time after leaving Israel.
2. May also be used to describe anyone becoming suddenly extremely religious, no matter where they live.

1. John went wacko while touring Jerusalem. He stood on the walls of the old city in his boxers and called the passers by to renounce all their worldly possessions. He got hospitalized in the nearest loony bin and got diagnosed as a severe case of Jerusalem syndrome.
2. Gina's got some form of Jerusalem syndrome. She's constantly going on about Christ and being saved and all that evangelical sh*t.

by twisted tiffany April 2, 2009

jesus fish

In ancient Greek times Christians would be executed if they were found to be so. Therefore the ichthys (Jesus fish) was used as a way for two Christian to be made known to each other. In the ground, using a stick or staff, one man would draw the first arch of the ichthys and wait until another man would walk up and draw the second arch to finish it. This method would allow both men to know the other was a Christian without making the risk of voicing it.

Though back in those days they knew what the symbol actually meant, it was chosen by its simplicity. The ichthys is actually a symbol of fertility. In today's culture it is displayed on its side to look like a fish. Originally it was displayed with the football-shaped hole pointing upward and the open end downward. This showed what it truly represented, the vagina and anus of the fertility goddess Atargatis. Atargatis is also known in different cultures as Tirgata, Aphrodite, Pelagia or Delphine.

*looking at a car driving by with a jesus fish on the back*
"I see he's pro-vaginas."

by Ty4thVenom April 10, 2006

Jesus Point

Prestige gained when something good, or a good deed is done in Jesus' and or gods eyes.

Hey bro! Get any Jesus Points today?

by some12email July 24, 2006