Canada's History is one of the world's most extraordinarily controversial sex acts, and is infamous for being notoriously difficult to perform. It gained popularity in 1987 when PETA launched a campaign against the act because of its mercilessly cruel treatment of animals (the iconic "Ban Canada's History" campaign).
Only two men and one woman can perform Canada's History, and both men must be physically flexible to complete the final stage. To perform a Canada's History, one must obtain authentic moose antlers, a replica of the Stanley Cup, maple syrup, a beavertail, a live Canadian loon, kerosene, a lighter, a length of rope and a Nickelback album. If you use a Celine Dion album from the mid-nineties the act is referred to as a Canada's Antiquity. If you use a Strapping Young Lad album, Canada's Histrionics.
Only two men and one woman can perform Canada's History, and both men must be physically flexible to complete the final stage. To perform a Canada's History, one must obtain authentic moose antlers, a replica of the Stanley Cup, maple syrup, a beavertail, a live Canadian loon, kerosene, a lighter, a length of rope and a Nickelback album. If you use a Celine Dion album from the mid-nineties the act is referred to as a Canada's Antiquity. If you use a Strapping Young Lad album, Canada's Histrionics.
He's crazy you know -- I heard he once did a Canada's History with that chick who works at the 7-11.
by Capillarian February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. the sexual act of having a group of men with explosive diarrhea defecate into an unconscious woman's vagina. After all the men present have made bowel movements, the woman is hung upside down by her feet. The men then take turns guzzling maple syrup and then inducing vomit onto the woman's vagina. The woman, still hung by her feet, is spun around in circles so the rope, cable or chain used to bind her, when let go, causes her to spin wildly out of control. As this happens, the men masturbate. The last man to ejaculate is punched in the face until the suspended woman stops spinning and comes to a complete and total rest. That man is then adorned with moose antlers and must sit on a replica of the stanley cup whittled from the largest log of a beaver dam. The replica also must be filled with poutine (a canadian cuisine consisting of french fries, cottage cheese and gravy). He must remain on this replica until the suspended woman has awakened and consumed all of the aforementioned contents of her vagina with a red and white candy-striped crazy straw.
Stephen Colbert had to suspend his show for a week because he stayed home sick from participating in Canada's History.
by bar britters February 5, 2010
Get the canada's historymug. Extremely kinky sex, involving saran wrap, a hot glue gun, and a chicken. A term made popular by satirical news show host Stephen Colbert.
Met a chick at a bar the other day and she said let's go back to my place and find out about 'canada's history' and I felt my pits begin to sweat.
by TaakaTaaka February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's historymug. A sexual position utilizing 3 items Moose antlers, A jug of maple syrup, and of course the Stanley cup.
It starts by Positioning the anuses of as many Canadians as there are ends on the moose antlers on said antlers, lubricated by the syrup.
Then followed by urinating into the Stanley cup and each person takes turns drinking from it and urinating into it.
It starts by Positioning the anuses of as many Canadians as there are ends on the moose antlers on said antlers, lubricated by the syrup.
Then followed by urinating into the Stanley cup and each person takes turns drinking from it and urinating into it.
by Teh Weesus February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. A sex act so horrible that it involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup and the Stanley cup. The details are so graphic it cannot be explained here. However, it is suggested that you use the antlers as a reverse reach around. The Stanley cup might be used as a date rape drug or weapon, and the maple syrup for lube ;). STICKY, DELICOUS, LUUUUUBBBBEEE HA! HA!... lube. Now maybe put that in working order. Its should work. HA! HA! HA! lube.
Lets discusses Canada's history, in my office! HA! HA!... Brace for impact. By the way have you seen my daughter Judy? She looks absolutely nothing like you. Nothing like you, nothing at all. Nada!
by Phil Ken Sebens February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. by ilovecolbert February 5, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug. The sexual act wherein a woman sits on top of the Stanley Cup naked. A man covers a pair of moose's antlers in maple syrup, and inserts them as far as possible into the woman's vagina and anus. When the woman can no longer hold the antlers, the man removes them. Then, he attempts to lick up as much syrup as possible from the woman's vagina while she defecates into the Stanley Cup. When the man finishes his search for the syrup, and the woman is finished with her movement, the two eat the excrement out of the Stanley Cup.
by JD4566 February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's Historymug.