If cannabis was as deadly as the media wants you to believe, Willie Nelson wouldn't have lived to half the age he is now.
Legalize cannabis
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The sacred art of flicking one's penis or clitoris between strokes or rubs, altering between flicks and rubs. This achieves a rhythm so divine that it promises a state of unparalleled pleasure. The term draws inspiration from the biblical promise of the land of Canaan to Abraham—a covenant of fulfillment and maximum goon pleasure and volume.
In this context, however, the "land of milk and honey" is less about geography and more about the boundless euphoria found in perfectly synchronized flicks and strokes. Legend holds that even G-d sits in the celestial cuck chair, edging while marveling at the ingenuity of its own creation's ability to out-goon the holiest of holy.
Practitioners believe this technique ensures maximum engagement with the pleasure centers, occupying the body and mind as fully as an ancient prophecy fulfilled.
Truly, it is a modern pilgrimage for the devoted in gooning.
In this context, however, the "land of milk and honey" is less about geography and more about the boundless euphoria found in perfectly synchronized flicks and strokes. Legend holds that even G-d sits in the celestial cuck chair, edging while marveling at the ingenuity of its own creation's ability to out-goon the holiest of holy.
Practitioners believe this technique ensures maximum engagement with the pleasure centers, occupying the body and mind as fully as an ancient prophecy fulfilled.
Truly, it is a modern pilgrimage for the devoted in gooning.
USAGE 1:
Brian: Yo, where’s Dave? We’re trying to run this trio in valo rn, and he’s not responding!
James: Oh, it’s Shabbat. You know how he gets. He’s probably deep into his daily Canaanite Flicker Gooning. Something about “honoring the ancestors” while also achieving “maximum occupation of pleasure.” He’ll be back after he’s, uh, spiritually fulfilled?
USAGE 2:
Sammi: Where the hell is Sarah? We’re all waiting for her to pick a movie, and she’s MIA.
Jessica: Bruh, it’s Friday night. You already know she’s deep in her Canaanite Flicker Gooning session—probably ass-naked on her bed, double-flicking like she’s summoning ancient spirits. She says it’s about “embracing divine pleasure” or some shit, but let’s call it what it is: she’s just trying to goon herself into the promised land of milk, honey, and whatever else she can squirt out.
Sammi: Honestly, fair. If I could flick my bean into a transcendent coma, y’all wouldn’t see me on movie nights either.
Brian: Yo, where’s Dave? We’re trying to run this trio in valo rn, and he’s not responding!
James: Oh, it’s Shabbat. You know how he gets. He’s probably deep into his daily Canaanite Flicker Gooning. Something about “honoring the ancestors” while also achieving “maximum occupation of pleasure.” He’ll be back after he’s, uh, spiritually fulfilled?
USAGE 2:
Sammi: Where the hell is Sarah? We’re all waiting for her to pick a movie, and she’s MIA.
Jessica: Bruh, it’s Friday night. You already know she’s deep in her Canaanite Flicker Gooning session—probably ass-naked on her bed, double-flicking like she’s summoning ancient spirits. She says it’s about “embracing divine pleasure” or some shit, but let’s call it what it is: she’s just trying to goon herself into the promised land of milk, honey, and whatever else she can squirt out.
Sammi: Honestly, fair. If I could flick my bean into a transcendent coma, y’all wouldn’t see me on movie nights either.
by 000Six_Six000 December 10, 2024
Get the Canaanite Flicker Gooning mug.The month when you give up drinking alcohol and replace it with cannabis because you are a caring loving person who cares about the the mental health effects on your friends and family when you stop drinking.
I'm giving up drinking for January but dont worry I am doing Cannabis Januais, Happy Cannabis Januais everyone!
by thebeerdd February 2, 2025
Get the Cannabis Januais mug.by thebeerdd February 2, 2025
Get the Cannabis Januais mug.Cannabannoyed (kan-uh-buh-noyd) – noun
A state of frustration, irritation, or annoyance caused by anything or anyone standing between you and cannabis, whether it’s access, misinformation, or hypocrisy. Symptoms include eye-rolling, deep sighs, and the occasional urge to educate someone who needs it.
Common Triggers:
1️⃣ Lack of cannabis – the shelves are empty, your grow isn’t ready, or outdated laws still keep the plant out of reach.
2️⃣ Needing cannabis oils – but your state says no.
3️⃣ Reefer Madness propaganda – The never-ending cycle of anti-cannabis myths
4️⃣ Researchers who claim weed is bad but have never smoked a joint
5️⃣ Doctors who sound just like those researchers –but can’t explain the Endocannabinoid System (ECS).
6️⃣ Doctors who actively put down cannabis – but will happily prescribe opioids like they’re Tic Tacs.
7️⃣ Doctors who can’t even spell cannabinoid
Best Treatments for Cannabannoyance:
a. Deep breaths and a well-packed bowl
b. CBD for patience, THC for perspective, CBGa for long-term resilience
c. Sending people research studies until they finally get it
d. Letting the science from people who used the plant speak for itself while you look for weed
A state of frustration, irritation, or annoyance caused by anything or anyone standing between you and cannabis, whether it’s access, misinformation, or hypocrisy. Symptoms include eye-rolling, deep sighs, and the occasional urge to educate someone who needs it.
Common Triggers:
1️⃣ Lack of cannabis – the shelves are empty, your grow isn’t ready, or outdated laws still keep the plant out of reach.
2️⃣ Needing cannabis oils – but your state says no.
3️⃣ Reefer Madness propaganda – The never-ending cycle of anti-cannabis myths
4️⃣ Researchers who claim weed is bad but have never smoked a joint
5️⃣ Doctors who sound just like those researchers –but can’t explain the Endocannabinoid System (ECS).
6️⃣ Doctors who actively put down cannabis – but will happily prescribe opioids like they’re Tic Tacs.
7️⃣ Doctors who can’t even spell cannabinoid
Best Treatments for Cannabannoyance:
a. Deep breaths and a well-packed bowl
b. CBD for patience, THC for perspective, CBGa for long-term resilience
c. Sending people research studies until they finally get it
d. Letting the science from people who used the plant speak for itself while you look for weed
"After sitting through another doctor's appointment where they dismissed cannabis but pushed three different pharmaceuticals, I walked out feeling severely Cannabannoyed. If one more so-called "expert" who can't even spell cannabinoid tries to tell me weed isn't medicine, I might need an extra dose of THC just to keep my eyes from rolling into another dimension"
by ResearcherOG_Mike February 21, 2025
Get the Cannabannoyed mug.Due to da risks of cannabilistic tendencies dat one might experience after a dose of "wacky-tobacky", you should seriously think twice if a colleague invites you over "because he doesn't like smoking alone" --- for all you know, he might have other plans in mind besides just wanting your company!
by QuacksO April 26, 2025
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