Swagger Monkey

A pet monkey that is blinged out, taught to walk with swagger, skateboards, plays basketball, and is owned by a player

person 1:Bro, did you see that fly ass swagger monkey!

Person 2: ya dude i wish i had that much skillz

by jrodisamazurful February 26, 2010

Banging the Monkey

1. A hopeless situation with no satisfactory solution
2. To fail spectacularly, as in 'screw the pooch'
3. To continue fighting though you cannot win
4. A legendary bout of partying

"Beating your head against the wall, fully aware your
cause was already lost. This was banging the monkey."

by Cooney Bamboo January 21, 2020

hug monkey

A love-addicted oddball monkey who will enthusiastically hug you until you can no longer get any air.

I felt the hug monkey squeezing me with all of its might... and then I realized it was going to kill me!

by Dr Bunnygirl May 23, 2020

Monkey Positive

Monkey positive means that your arm span is greather than your height.

That guy with the long arms, he must be monkey positive.

by JossyF March 02, 2011

Penis Monkey

A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:

-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
-
-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility

Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.

by poopoo monkey machine man May 26, 2020

Incest Monkeys

Two or more people who are closely related, that have a large amount of sex all the time.

Guy 1: "Did you hear about Jim and Kate?"
Guy 2: "Yeah bro, they totally had sex."
Guy 1: "Incest Monkeys."

by R.J. Harris August 31, 2011

monkey missle

to hang from the highest point possible at the end of sex and eject semen on to your partner while hanging like a monkey

dude last night wuz crazy this girl took me to her place and i wound up giving her a monkey missle

by anthony skriver October 29, 2007