Cockus Vaginitus

A rather terrifying disease in which a vagina begins to grow on the underside of a man's penis. The starting stage resembles nothing more then a mere "cut" on the penis. The second stage is the formation of a clitoris directly above the said "cut." The third stage is the actual formation of the "lips" of the "Cockus Vaginitus." At which point, consulting a doctor is of an immediate emergency; to avoid any long-term damage. The final stage is the actual formation of a full female vagina, but on the underside of the male's penis. This is still under continuous studies for the connections of the actual Cockus Vaginitus being capable for sexual intercourse, as well as determining whether or not this turns an individual into a registered hermaphrodite.

"Hey, Jerry! What're your plans after work today?"

"I'm going to the doctors to get my penis checked out."

"Ew, gross! Why?"

"I think I may have Cockus Vaginitus."

"Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry, man."

by Jason Hauffman July 28, 2012

cactus

that fucking prickly thing that in arizona, and africa

it's a crappy plant that nobody likes, and they should ban it

"hey remember when we lived near a cactus?"
"stfu"

by Bluzare June 1, 2020

Cockus Grumpus

That moment when you do something so minor that it doesn't matter but its still pretty cockus grumpus, that moment for when you need something to say but you dont know what, cockus grumpus, that moment when you do something so incredibly epic that there is no other way of describing it, Cockus Grumpus

Man 1: ayoo i just flicked this paper off the desk
Man 2: Cockus Grumpus
Man 1:...
Man 2:...
Man 1:...
Man 2: Cockus Grumpus

Man 3: Hey Guys you will never guess what, I just bought 16 pounds of weed!!
Man 1 and Man 2 simultaneously : COCKUS GRUMPUS!!!!

by NotFire05hahafunny8cock December 19, 2021

Your Some Cactus!

A phrase recently added on urban dictionary only to backfire on the poor soul who created it. What kind of idiot can call somebody else stupid when they're the one using "your" in the wrong context?!?

You seem to be oblivious to your own stupidity, fuckwit!

There is no example for 'your some cactus!' because it's fucking wrong! The word is 'you're', dickweed!

by Berserker24 December 7, 2010

shake the cactus

An awesome way to describe urination or masturbation..

Or all the above at the same time

Student: Excuse me sir, but I gotta go shake the cactus
Teacher: OK, be back before the lesson starts

Friend 1: Man, she's so hot, I might just go shake the cactus
Friend 2: YES

by CactusShaker9000 January 12, 2012

suck my cactus

A phrase used in many songs, usually rap, that means "suck my dick". A "cactus" can also be a penis that has been infected with herpes bumps. However, not always.

I was at the bar last night and that girl totally wanted to suck my cactus.

by yo i keep it real April 17, 2017

The brawl stars cactus

Stupid cactus that commits war crimes and rapes children every day

The brawl stars cactus raped my daughter Jessie.

by Stylix November 25, 2019