Lung Monkey

(n) A large, sticky glob of mucus.

Willis, recovering from a bad case of allergies, hawked a really gross lung monkey onto Gayle's fuzzy sweater.

by URallabunchofidiots June 30, 2018

Crust Monkey

Someone who is incredibly crusty and gross. They need to take a shower ASAP and wash their clothes. Someone whose pubic hair and facial hair looks the same.

"Bro, he is such a crust monkey he has cum stains on his pants and the skin on his right hand is peeling off!"

by Giggggiiiggg March 16, 2017

monkey porridge

When a black guy blows a load in your mouth so thick you have to chew it.

"I'ma drop a batch of monkey porridge in this bitches mouth."

by DrNegroLsd May 23, 2016

Banging the Monkey

1. A hopeless situation with no satisfactory solution
2. To fail spectacularly, as in 'screw the pooch'
3. To continue fighting though you cannot win
4. A legendary bout of partying

"Beating your head against the wall, fully aware your
cause was already lost. This was banging the monkey."

by Cooney Bamboo January 21, 2020

hug monkey

A love-addicted oddball monkey who will enthusiastically hug you until you can no longer get any air.

I felt the hug monkey squeezing me with all of its might... and then I realized it was going to kill me!

by Dr Bunnygirl May 23, 2020

Penis Monkey

A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:

-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
-
-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility

Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.

by poopoo monkey machine man May 26, 2020

Monkey Positive

Monkey positive means that your arm span is greather than your height.

That guy with the long arms, he must be monkey positive.

by JossyF March 17, 2011