When you get in the port-a-potty at the end of a long hot steamy summer day and she still gives you a blumpkin.
by Sandy, AE, Sphinkter September 17, 2017
Get the out john mug.A middle aged fat guy who spends his days unemployed, getting drunk, and making everyone around him feel awkward. Most likely divorced and his kids act like he doesn’t exist. He is probably single and trying to hit on women at the bar that he will never have a chance with, or remarried to the first loser who settled for him while still doing that. He is always asking friends or family for loans to buy stuff he can’t afford. He is commonly seen wearing a white t shirt at the lake, an oversized watch to keep up the false appearance of a lifestyle he doesn’t have, or driving an oversized truck/SUV he can’t afford. He acts like a corporate big shot and tries to strut around like he owns everything, but can barely make it 20 feet without gasping for dear life. Avoid John and guys like him unless you like losers who mistake their extra body mass for muscle.
“My husband is a dick to the kids, a dick to me, a dick to everyone, but without him I can’t have the house we can’t afford and will have to move back in with my mom.”
“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”
“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”
“I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
“Girl same! Looks like we both have a John. Oh well. Not many options when you’re a 50 year old single mom, but how else can we afford rent nowadays?”
“I went to order a drink from the bar and that fat guy got in my face, trying to flirt with me. His wife was talking to some friends a couple tables away.”
“I see that guy in here every couple nights. Surprised the stool isn’t broken yet.”
by Make feather hat get fat February 5, 2024
Get the John mug.someone: hey? have you seen a short filipino guy before?
me: ??? oh? you mean john? yea he's right here
john: I'm not short.
me: ??? oh? you mean john? yea he's right here
john: I'm not short.
by therandomfilipino August 10, 2022
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An employee of an industrial supply company who always wears a dirty athletic fit shirt. Although he's constantly in the gym he cannot seem to make any gains in strength or size.
by King Unicorn August 31, 2017
Get the Discount John Cena mug.If your Dad's name is John than he is probably an impostor trying to kill your whole family. If you see any person named John with a knife then you should probably run. If you hear someone say hey john it means, than it probably means that that person who knows that John, is probably he's next victim. If your talking to someone and they say there name is John I would recommend running away. If your dad's name is John, chuck him out a window before he kills you whole family.
by factstho March 21, 2021
Get the John mug.A John is a person who likes sports, music and being alone. John has a lot of friends and is a very nice person in general. John is a very relaxed person and is happiest alone on his computer or playing soccer or baseball with his friends. If a John gets angered, he won't tell anyone because John is a nice person. but if it continues, he will fight back. A John is a competitive funny knowledgeable science nerd who has a lot of experience with love compared to kids his age. John also loves Pokemon and drawing and dislikes most of his close family.
by John's are cool May 11, 2021
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