turd hound

An otherwise known smart dog breed, but this particular one is embarrassingly dumb. Eats feces and rocks. Often can be heard barking at nothing. May also be a normally beautiful breed of dog, but has ugly aesthetic features such as; wire coat, beard, Grinch-like feet.
Jim's dog is a Border Collie mixed with turd hound, pretty sure I saw him hunting for a shit snack in the yard this morning.
by eljae83 November 21, 2016
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smurfing a turd

dropping a deuce, popping a squat, dropping the kids off at the pool, making a deposit at the first porcelain bank. you get the point
Dude, quit beating on the door, I'm smurfing a turd!

-or-

Papa Smurf: "We'll stop smurfing turds in your lake..."
Leader of the Snorks: "And we'll allow you to take pictures of our women."
Papa Smurf: "... for masturbation."
Leader of the Snorks: "Yes, for masturbation."
by MdnghtPhnx August 03, 2010
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turd in the bath

Commonly used strategy by ItzPaesha when one shits in bathtub and gets spooped by the poop.
"I just spooped by the turd in the bath" - ItzPaesha
by nootnootwearenumberone April 04, 2017
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turd birth

It took Eric ten minutes to complete his turd birth.
by lawatson5 February 03, 2011
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turd burglary

"Hey look Bob, there's a turd missing from your shit collection! Another TURD BURGLARY, another day!"
by Cronic Christoph November 16, 2017
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Turd Fart

When a fart is pushed around a turd that has not been expelled yet. The odor is not that of a regular gas fart but of the skatole from the turd.
Boyd annoyed the people in the elevator with a turd fart.
by Ignatz TC October 26, 2020
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Turd Texter

A person who(while at work) retreats to the latrine to send text messages from their cell phone, while turding.
Mike always grabs his phone before heading to the stalls. An obvious sign of a Turd Texter.
by Vern_O February 22, 2009
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