Red Velvet Cookie

To create a “Red Velvet Cookie” you must collect a month’s worth of period blood. Then, using some of the period blood as lube, you must collect a week’s worth of semen. Next, collect a large amount of fresh shit, then take all the ingredients, mix well, and leave alone for a week of fermentation. When ready, bake at high temperature until a nice crispy crust forms. Once you finish baking, you may eat your delicious treat, or share the snack with others.

Hey bro! I just finished making our favorite Red Velvet Cookies, you want some?

by Potato Salad 123 April 3, 2025

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A Red Velvet

When you freeze your shit to use as a dildo, whilst on your period.

“I’m going to go home and try a Red Velvet”

by ballicaust February 1, 2025

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Velvet samurai

Someone highly skilled in the art of penetrating the 'velvet underground' with the 'pork sword'.

Dude #1: That guy looks like a real velvet samurai.
Dude #2: Indeed, my gaydar is off the scale right now.

by Piotr Dahl September 4, 2012

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Velvet Pouch

A premium pussy

Damn, aren't I lucky to be able to store my package in your velvet pouch.

by Blackberry Sandwich September 9, 2020

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jimmy velvet

A man who talks softly and so smooth, you don't even know when he is talking about you. Even if you are in the same room. Also responsible for bringing about the next trend in fashion material.

"Dude, that guy just got jimmy velveteened .......what a clueless twatcicle."

"I thought he and I were friends until I heard him jimmy velvet me."

"Who the fuck you think you are that you can talk about me like that!?"
"I'm motherfucking jimmy velvet, go fuck yourself.

by Skankbreathe July 11, 2017

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